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Arsenal To Beat Spurs

My old man has forgotten more about betting than I`ll ever know; he has Alzheimer`s. It`s bad news for the old fellow, but it`s a result for me at Christmas.

He always used to say, "Never overestimate the importance of recent form." He hasn`t said this since his condition deteriorated though; the poor sod thinks he`s still fighting in the war. The last coherent statement he made was, "We must invade Poland."

Liverpool`s recent form on the road may be abysmal, but the cream will rise to the top like a Scouse salmon. Even the old man is backing the Reds at 11/10 to see off Wigan; if he remembers the location of the betting shop.

Jamie Carragher had said that he wouldn`t swap Stevie Gerrard for Ronaldinho, which coincidentally, is a view shared by Barcelona. The in form Gerrard can inspire the Pool to a 2-0 win at 6/1.

Gareth Southgate is a rich man`s Steve McClaren, which places him one rung off the bottom of the English managerial ladder. A Manchester United romp at 8/13 will be about as surprising as the Sunday newspaper headline: 'Rooney KO`s reporter, sleeps with an old dear`.

If Wayne Rooney were so inclined, he could visit 'the canny granny` twice a week (at 65 a pop) for the next 44 years, and it would cost him less than 1% of the 30m deal he`s just agreed. Unlike the old lady in question, that`s not too shabby. The 4/1 on offer for Rooney to open the scoring is a genuine looker.

West Ham`s new owner made his fortune in biscuits, so it could be argued that Frank Lampard part-financed the deal. A draw between Everton and West Ham looks a great investment at 9/4.

Alan Pardew is worried about a gambling culture at the club. Apparently, the players enjoy the card game 'roaster`; it`s a variation of poker, played with more hands. Get your hands on the 8/1 about 'no goalscorer` in the match.

As a result of recent defeats to Fulham and Bolton, Arsenal are available at a huge 8/13 to see off Tottenham. Henry missed the Reebok shoeing due to a pain in the neck; Robbie Savage let his tyres down. Spurs will not be so fortunate.

Robbie Savage is like a box of tissues; girly, but useful. Blackburn have only lost one of the last twelve games in which the blonde bombshell has been involved; Fulham will succumb to girl-power at 10/11.

In a climate where footballers and managers 'see no evil`, 'hear no evil` and 'roast no evil`, it was refreshing to hear El Hadji Diouf admit to taking the occasional dive. He`s also an expert in domestic conflict resolution; the lad`s really growing on me. Diouf`s honesty will be rewarded with a win at the Madejski at 15/8.

Les Reed has also embraced the concept of truth. His quote of "Andy Reid`s body shape makes him look worse than he is," is a polite way of saying "the fat lad done well." Charlton can leave Bramall Lane with a point at a pleasantly plump 9/4.

I keep hearing how Watford have been unlucky this season; but what about me? The house caught fire last year and the wife wasn`t even in. I`ll say what I said to her mother when we moved in for a few weeks shortly after; I`ve got a huge tip for you. Get on Man City at 8/11.

Andy Cole and Kanu should both be involved when Pompey face the Villa, and surprisingly, they`re not being wheeled out for a pre-match presentation. The Villa are in play at 9/4.

I`m feeling genuine remorse for criticising David James. Judging by his new haircut, it`s quite clear that the poor sod is living with his mother, and she`s still living in the 1940`s. I`ll have to introduce her to my old man.

This week`s accer is so inevitable, Doctor Who, Austin Powers, 'Bill and Ted` and Shakin` Michael J Fox have all declared themselves powerless in the fight to prevent it from obliging. Arsenal, Blackburn, Liverpool, Man Utd and Man City are the selections, the payout is a Billie Piper pleasing 15/1.


Weekend Betting:

Arsenal v Tottenham
Saturday 2nd December 12:45
Live on Premiership Plus

Arsenal 8/13
Draw 13/5
Tottenham 11/2

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Henry to score direct from a free kick 6/1

Blackburn v Fulham Saturday 2nd December 15:00

Blackburn 10/11
Draw 9/4
Fulham 3/1

Get on: Blackburn

Match Special:
Blackburn to score three or more goals 7/2

Portsmouth v Aston Villa Saturday 2nd December 15:00

Portsmouth 5/4
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 9/4

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Gareth Barry to score with his left foot 5/1

Reading v Bolton
Saturday 2nd December 15:00

Reading 6/4
Draw 9/4
Bolton 15/8

Get on: Bolton

Match Special:
Anelka to score the only goal of the game 40/1

Sheff Utd v Charlton Saturday 2nd December 15:00

Sheff Utd 13/10
Draw 9/4
Charlton 23/10

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 11/2

Wigan v Liverpool
Saturday 2nd December 15:00

Wigan 11/4
Draw 9/4
Liverpool 11/10

Get on: Liverpool

Match Special:
Kuyt to score two or more goals 6/1

Middlesbrough v Man Utd
Saturday 2nd December
17:15 Live on Premiership Plus

Middlesbrough 5/1
Draw 13/5
Man Utd 8/13

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Rooney to score from outside the penalty area 9/2

Everton v West Ham
Sunday 3rd December
16:00 Live on Sky

Everton 10/11
Draw 9/4
West Ham 10/3

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Under 2.5 goals in the game 8/13

Man City v Watford
Monday 4th December
20:00 Live on Sky

Man City 8/11
Draw 12/5
Watford 9/2

Get on: Man City

Match Special:
Barton to score at any time 4/1

By Gerry McDonnell




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The Journalist

Writer: Rocky7 Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday December 1 2006

Time: 10:44PM

Your Comments

seems that quite a few people arsenal will geta result today even without Henry. but the totts think this is their year, will prove exciting
PUREGOLD
2-1 to the gunners
swfcowls
1 or 2-0,,, spurs wont score they only rely on lennon in the prem
sammylash
You don`t no the name Berbatov!! You will after today! and ofcourse the best french import ever Mr Malbranque!!!!!!!!!!! Whinger has now come to blows with your coward Captain now. Remember I said the empire is crumbling at the start of the season. "CAN YOU SEE THE CRACKS" or have you got myoploma too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COYS 0-2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cockeril
This will be very hard to decide, both teams want it, without henry will still be diffucult, but this 90 Minutes will be vital, very vital.
gunner-minesh
your only winning becuase of your favroute ref poll
sexyyid
hahaha here starts the whining from the ********s..
luckys_10
I'd love to hear the logic, or lack thereof, behind that comment
Monkeyjerky
Ah...the silence is deafening. All the spuds must be whining on the forums at Vital Graham Poll...good luck with that. Hopefully you'll be ready to give us a match next time kids.
SUX2BU
hahahaha, were we playing sunderland today?
luckys_10
Well done girls you desrved it regardless of having 13 men with MRS POLL. We will see you at the lane for part 2 and make sure that coward is fit as we will get more satisfaction in the win. Actually you have been playing better without her.
cockeril
hey cockey just have one thing to say to you.........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
luckys_10
I didn`t expect any other reaction from you. Well done You done well out there today. Still got title aspirations??????
cockeril
cockeril, we got more aspirations then your sorry lot :) champions league your avin a larf !
PUREGOLD
How embarrassing for the spuds fans. We are not playing well are having our worst spell under wenger since he arrived & yet we can still humiliate their sorry lot. Were Keane or Lennon even playing today?? I saw some little bloke keep changing wings & trying to outrun clichy & then eboue before going into hiding when he realised he isn't as good as he thought!! As for Poll what a c**p ref, if he had been even half decent the spuds would be going into their next league match with at least 3 players suspended. They truly proved today what utter scum they are!!
Ashburton Gooner
Good one AG. I wonder if we will ever see cockeril and his other spuds ilk on this site for a while. But did i just hear him do the one thing these idiots accuse wenger of - 'whinging' ??? The ref was crap, blah blah blah!!!!
prits
oh dear that was too easy,i knew your team was bad,but i didnt realize how utterly useless they were until now,and i cant believe you actually had the nerve to come on our site and claim that you were going to beat us,pathetic!! can we play you every week?
fran merida
 

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