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4-0 to the Foreigners.....

Well it was a nadir for English football last night as Arsenal and their dirty foreign traits, technique, skill, quick passing and sumpuous finishing brought further shame on the English game. The King dirty foreigner Thierry Henry returned to further smear the Premiership's reputation with an awesome display and Robin van Persie demonstrated the kind of form which proves he can take up the mantle of Dennis Bergkamp (though van Persie and Bergkamp are both Dutch, oh the shame!)

The Gunners made light of an awful Charlton side, Alan Pardew stuck rigidly to his principles by fielding four English players. The opening exchanges were dominated by the immigrants (presumably all illicitly claiming benefits as well) and the result never really looked in doubt. It was just a case of how many times the filthy foreigners would cheat their way to goal. When Osei Sankofa (born and bred in the English town of errr, Senegal, Africa) hauled down van Persie in front of goal, Arsenal and their dirty foreign built stadium had their first goal via an Henry penalty and Sankofa was sent from the pitch for not knowing the succession of English monarchs since the seventeenth century. (Apparently, he's never eaten fish and chips out of newspaper wrapping either, tut tut, tut). Henry celebrated the goal by cavorting on the touchline with the injured Adebayor. A celebration indicative of the 'gayness' foreigners have bought to our league, whatever happened to a handshake and a good spit?!

The second followed shortly after, Henry played a one two with Justin Hoyte who slotted consummately past Carson. Hoyte celebrated the goal by ritualistically cleansing his boots, having just exchanged a slick one two with a Frenchman. (Side note, definition of poetic justice, Arsenal's first English scorer in sixteen months netting against an Alan Pardew side). The second half was little more than a farce as the foreigners used their powerful mind control techniques to stun Charlton and their British stalwarts into abject sh*tness. Carson resisted, putting in a display of Bulldog grit, pulling off outstanding saves from aliens Henry, Rosicky and van Persie (the shame of it all). But Dutchman Robin van Persie wrapped up a deserved scoreline with a slick double. Firstly after Saleymane 'John Smith' Diawara hauled down Henry (surely the Frenchman dived) and RVP smashed home the penalty into a solied foreign net. Fans wept openly on the terraces, mortified that the British game was being destroyed.

van Persie was to further desecrate the occasion with a sumptuous chip over Carson in injury time. He celebrated the goal by urinating openly on the St. George's cross. Wenger was to further insult the viewing public by sending on Jeremie Aliadiere, Denilson and Mathieu Flamini and cries of horror were detectable from the red section. The final whistle went and the tone was sombre as the Arsenal fans shuffled out, embarassed about the lack of patriotism demonstrated by their side. All the skill, technique and excellently crafted moves meant little as we shed salty British tears in unison. A subsequent F.A investigation has ruled that the game actually finished 0-0, as three of the goals were scored by foreigners. True, one was scored by an Englishman, but that was chalked off after it emerged that Jens Lehmann singularly failed to apologise for his country's conduct during the war.

Now that the sarcasm is out of my system, it is worth saying that, while this was an excellent performance, Charlton were a shadow of a side and one who have seemingly accepted relegation. I do not expect this as a reaction to the Sheffield United defeat, I will look for that in our next league game away at Blackburn. The return of Hnery seemed to revitalise everyone, our talisman appeared slightly rusty, but that did not prevent him having a hand in all four of our goals. His presence particularly appeared to inspire van Persie, who shook himself out of his recent malaise to turn in an awesome display of skill and poise. His second goal in particular was an indication of the kind of arrogance I like to see from him (not the kind where he lambasts his own team mates). Special mention also to Alex Hleb, or as I have dubbed him, Alex Hub. He was at the centre of every move and his tireless running ran Charlton ragged, it's a shame the home fans only saw fit to murmur discontent at him when his ambitious through balls were cut out.

In the closing minutes of the game, the terraces turned to amusing mockery. We discussed on a forum recently the Arsenal fans' propensity to take the p**s and the Red Section duly obliged. 'Pardew for Tottenham' they screamed, 'Even West Ham knew you're s**t' and, most hilariously of all, 'Arsene, Knock Him Out' they implored. Now I spoke in the sarcastic phases of this article about poetic justice, and maybe I received a little of my own. I was kindly offered a lift hime, but I do not think it was an invitation I will receive again! The initial rumblings of a burger van offering left me feeling queasy. Within minutes queasiness turned to nausea, to absolute panic as I had my driver circling the A2 for a public convenience, my churning bowels were not in the mood for patience! After a furious remonstration with the staff of a closed McDonald's (just off the A2 towards Lewisham, NEVER go there) and two gas stations with the apocalyptic legend 'OUT OF ORDER' scribed onto the doors of their facilities, it looked to be a phot finish. Fortunatley, a service station was discovered where I expunged my gut churning burger with a hearty defication followed by a light vomitis. I have lobbied the Premier League to have the burger recooked and filed a lawsuit against the Marriot Hotel as a result. (Look at that, there is some sarcasm in my system). After months of taunting the Spud faithful for their intestinal deficincies, it looks as though old mother karma got me square in the gut. Still, it was worth it. LD.

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The Journalist

Writer: Tim Stillman Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday January 3 2007

Time: 1:41PM

Your Comments

I can't believe I said 'gas station'!!! I've never even been to America. (Unless you count England as the fiftieth state!)
Little Dutch
Ahhh multi-culturalism is even affecting your sub-conscience. You must have got your dysentry burger from the same van I frequent. Bet it was a ******* foreigner.
Thanks for favour Arsenal ;-)
Good to see TH14 back, now maybe we can get someone to kick Terry in the back and send some of your burgers to the Myanks and then maybe we'll have a chance at the title!!! Funny article LD, how long you been writing for VF then?
LD - I wondered where you'd got to. Nice to see the banter from y'day is still fresh in your mind. I see you make reference to our banter on several occasions. However, I do hope that you are not implying that I said your team is dirty and dishonest just cos they are foreign. Karma hit you in the gut and now all that is left is for the same to happen on the pitch. It pains me to say it, but you are a credit to the scum
Jacky B
LD, are you going Saturday?? A mate told me that the Arkles has banned away support. That kinda limits places to go up there.
well done i agree with you LD,Im not going to get too excited about this result,coz the test will be the two games against the mickey mousers and away to rovers...i would also like to say that its a shame we could only take one point off the two teams at the top...
fran merida
1 point off the 2 teams at the top???
Out of the teams who finished in the top 5 last season, we have the best points tally from games against the 'top 5' teams.
We have only dropped 2 points and that was at Sparsford Bridge. I don't know where he is going with that comment.
Me either HS. Chelsea have only beaten Liverpool out of last seasons top 5, Man U have lost to us and drawn with Chelsea, and Spurs......well, just don't get me started on them useless bunch!
Don't get too excited, they are only 7 points and about 279 goals behind us at present. I'm especially worried after Zokora's rallying call to his team mates about stuffing the Gooners and getting the C.L place. This was just before they lost to Liverpool at home and drew at Pompey. Hahahaha.
i really hope we end liverpools ridiculously long home form without a loss, and i think we can !!
Nice attempt at sarcasm Hatespur. However 7 points in reality is not a lot. Must try harder.
Jacky B
With our goal difference it is effectively 8 points. And if you couldnt finish above us after being there for most of last season, what hope have you of catching us?
True.... but who told you goal difference equals points? was it Sir Alex?.......... On his reckoning 10 0r 12 goals is a point. That would make it a nine point gap lol
Jacky B
Firstly Jacky B, the sarcasm was aimed at Pardew and some dumbass Blades fan on the forum a coulpe of days ago. Secondly to hatespur, of course I'm going saturday. I have made arrangements to pilfer ma Dutch's digital camera so hopefully I can post some pics of my ugly mug and my mates in my next report. In answer to scooch, fittingly, since the last transfer deadline day, I was the scoop of the summer! :-)
Little Dutch
Scoop of the summer that brought many hits to the site with some slightly questionable headline writing :)
I have been told
Jacky B
Jacky Boy 7 points may not be much of a deficit for a top 4 club who can string a run of victories together, but let's face it, you lot would only have a slim chance of making up what is effectively 8 points if you played every game at W.H.L. and we played every game in the North West.
Must have been the Karma bit that threw me. I didn't realise that the "scoop of the summer" would be repeating himself already
Jacky B
On a serious note though, what will happen if the proposed rule about having "homegrown" players is implemented? (I know that Wenger would prob use his law degree or whatever it is to get it thrown out due to equal opportunities)
Jacky B
It will never happen, but if it did we would be easily covered by players such as Fabregas, Hoyte, Traore, Gilbert, Walcott, Muamba, on and so on. Don't not confuse 'Homegrown' with 'English'
Great article. I wonder what has to happen for the spuds to shut up? Do they have to get relegated? I am sure that will happen sooner or later as their aim for joining the top 6 has just been reinforced by the signature of another talented English goalkeeper - Ben Alnwick and his not so English coleague in defence Assou Akoto the 2nd. They are a balanced side though. And for Jacky, since you enjoy the role of the stupid one: "Goal difference equals points" is a figure of speech because if you lot would ever have the same points as us (in your wet dreams!), our superior goal difference would mean we would finish above you. And since it is "-7", is it getting colder and colder at SHL? Lol to that, ****.
Karma is endlessly repetitve, a perpetuating entity. That's kind of the point? And I assure you, my headline writing is genius, I mean who would have thought three hundred and seventeen puntastic variations on the name 'Adebayor' was possible? :-)
Little Dutch
Me :)
i have to say, and englishman scoring for our foreign legion, what an earth is wenger thinking ? now we have walcott too, thats 2 british players, and word is we have more to come !!!! this is just not cricket !
I agree PG, I think he's clearly lost it and should be sacked. Nick Griffin should be appointed our next manager.
Little Dutch
2 English players you say PG? You mean the same amount that played for the scousers in the European cup final? Didnt hear Pardew etc moaning about that all i heard was cries of why didnt the whole team get awarded mbe's!
I haven't confused homegrown with English, hence the " "
Jacky B
Iceman, didn't a German have to come on at half time in that game because Gerrard was getting the run around? I guess people would never hear of that though, would they?
Little Dutch
So then when question our position which it's clear that we would have no problem? Or was it just another ***** poor attempt at highlighting our 'lack of English players'?
With so many great English players to chose from I find the situation dispicable. For example Jenas was only 8m and Carrick went for a poultry 18.8m. Such wonderful players for so little money.
tch tch tch, touchy,....touchy!!!!
drunkard bill
The answer to ur question LD....................YES!
Oh Dutch, I appreciate the problem, lasagne or botchelism in a bun? I'll have the burggghhhhher please! Great writing mate. Reminds me of my first ever visit to Swindon. I'll tell you the whole arse-emptying story one day.
Rocky 7. I questioned your position because if such a rule were to come in, it would be based on nationality. For example, just cos you nicked Fabregas when he was young, does not make him "homegrown" according to the noises coming from UEFA. And, whilst i am proud of the English core to our team that does not mean i dont like to see foreign players. And to an extent, we would be in a similar position. (No Berbatov or Chimbonda for example) So rather than being a "***** poor attempt at highlighting your lack of English...." I was making a genuine point. So, as i see it, of the players you listed only Hoyte, Walcott and Gilbert would count.
Jacky B
LD - Just cos Karma is endless and repetitive doesn't mean your journalism has to be. Oh, and by the way you lot - Just cos i am a Yiddo, does not mean I dont make serious points. I am not trying to goad you all the time (just most of the time :-) lol )
Jacky B
The directive from UEFA cannot and does not mention nationality. That is the way that UEFA wanted to go, but it was ruled a violation of ECHR. The rule refers to ontological proof that you have developed the players you are playing in your academy. This applies to the players Rocky mentioned (except Walcott, were the rule to come in next year he would not count).
Little Dutch
Cheers - Admittedly, my knowledge was a little lacking, I wasn't aware that it was ruled a violation, though thought it likely it would be. Wasn't not aware it had gone that far. Thought it was just some lawyers opinion? At what stage can you claim to have developed a player though? I'd imagine Fabregas was prob at Barca from the age 0f 3 of something. You signed him at 15/16 and he was in the side at 17. Did you really have a lot to do with his development? (apart from telling him to lose the Pat Sharpe "do")
Jacky B
I think the law is quite vague, therefore we can claim to have aided his development. I think it is something like whether or not they have played for one of the youth teams- it's been awhile since I read the legislation. I even believe Flamini falls into the category, we signed him when he was 20 but he never had a pro contract at Marseilles! Proves UEFA are equally as full of bureaucracy and stupidity as any Government QUANGO.
Little Dutch
It's a bit like anti terror legislation, I mean what is the definition of a terrorist? lol.
Little Dutch
not being white (sarcasm for those about to report me)
Jacky B
the guidelines have not yet been laid properly and we all can only speculate till the actual billing comes in..

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