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Reasons to be Cheerful

There's a line in the Sex Pistols docufilm, the Filth and the Fury that always struck me. John Lydon, expert raconteur remarked, 'there's something about the British, that in your darkest moments, you laugh.' Following last night`s admittedly humiliating turnover to the Spuddies from up the road, it`s time to reflect on the positives:

1. Now we don`t have to go into every North London derby thinking, "surely this has to be their time?" We can fully focus on the fact that we are a better side without factoring in the "sun shines on a dog`s arse once a day" maxim.
2. We can sit back and laugh at the Totts when they inevitably fold like deckchairs in the Final. (Though it probably will be to Chelsea, which will remove all the fun).
3. Upon that eventuality, we can resurrect the "we saw you cry on the telly" chant of 2002 fame.
4. We can laugh when they release their commemorative DVD and "I was there when hell froze over" tee shirts.
5. Birmingham away won`t have to be moved to midweek.
6. When we romp to the treble we can thank the Spuds for taking away the distraction of a League Cup Final, annexed as it is between the two legs of the Milan tie. Arsene Wenger can point to this defeat as the moment that refocused us and turned our season.
7. Tottenham will take their eye off their league form as the Final approaches and tumble back towards the relegation places. Once they lose the final, completely demoralised, they slide further and further as Paul Jewell masterminds Derby`s miraculous escape. Tottenham are relegated. Juande Ramos will point to this game as the moment that turned their season for the worst.
8. Wembley really is a pain in the arse to get to, and wouldn`t we all prefer to visit in May, when the weather`s a bit nicer and the girlies where those nice vest tops?
9. For an example of how inferior the Spuddies are to us, compare and contrast, amount of posts left by Arsenal fans on Vital Spurs after our victory over them in December and amount of posts left by Spuds over here in the last twelve hours.
10. We really are much happier with the six league points off of them aren`t we?
11. May 1971.
12. April 2004.
13. The fact that 1961 was a really, really long time ago (FatOldDave didn`t even have his free bus pass back then!)
14. Spurs beat us once every nine years. That means we won`t have to put up with this feeling again until 2017.
15. We signed Sol Campbell……..for free!
16. The Marriott Hotel.
17. Tottenham had a brown away kit.
18. Technically, we can still call it Three Point Lane; no points were at stake last night.
19. The chance to sing "Tottenham watching Eastenders" when we play Milan, we`ll probably mean it a little bit more this time won`t we?
20. It was getting boring beating the Spuds all the time.
21. We don`t care about the Carling Cup anyway. It`s not like we wanted to win it. That`s why we put out the mascots and a selection of Junior Gunners who won the raffle at the last Christmas party.
22. Can I stop now…………….?LD.

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The Journalist

Writer: Tim Stillman Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday January 23 2008

Time: 1:59PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Oi! I loved our brown away kit...
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23/01/2008 14:05:00

Very funny, and all in good fun, i like it. Especially the brown kit thing. Interesting reasoning on the whole Spurs relegation theory.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 14:12:00

what about " we've already surpassed tottenham's point total in the league for this season" They won't get 54 points in the league
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23/01/2008 14:14:00

i'd like to see a brown away kit. too many teams choose the same colours for their away kits, there seems to be a lot of blue. I guess the spuds had brown shorts and socks in the last game of 2 seasons ago following what they all ate at the Marriot that LD referred to. That day was amazing.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 14:32:00

LD-thank you for this post which has made my day-i've soent all day listening to a load of spuds spouting ***** and have been waiting for the response so thanks for providing it!
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23/01/2008 14:35:00

LOL @ brown kit and the relegation theory....
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23/01/2008 14:50:00

lol. Thanks LD! Worked a treat.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 15:25:00

The relegation theory is all very plausible. Really very plausible. As it stands, they are just 7 points above safety. That's two draws and a defeat.
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23/01/2008 15:54:00

Another reason to be cheerful, St. Totteringham day is coming much earlier this year!
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 15:57:00

Clever words.......I'll save this page and then send you a link at teh end of teh season when guess what you won't polishing anything other than your needle dicks! I did prefer your bigger fish article - it actually made you sound like a gooner with a brain which I know is a contradiction in terms........Good luck against the toon..... I can see it going one way from here
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 16:03:00

...says the nob who's going to be watching championship football next year! Bullers by name...
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23/01/2008 16:05:00

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23/01/2008 16:25:00

Just seen that Chas n Dave have come out of retirement with a celebratory single to accompany the inevitable DVD release......
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 16:54:00

lol sorry Rock, could'nt resist that one!, delete at will mate
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 16:56:00

another positive.....real madrid have given up in the long pursuit of your star player cesc fabregas (
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23/01/2008 17:33:00

23 watching Robbie Keane celebrate getting to a carling cup final as if he was the 40 year old virgin about to get laid by Angelina Jolie.
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23/01/2008 17:39:00

24 Jermain Jenas's hair
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23/01/2008 17:39:00

25 Jermain defoes hair
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23/01/2008 17:40:00

First off, let me say Spurs were well worth their victory last night. Secondly, as the brown kit is being discussed: christ that was awful. The worst PL kit ever though? No. That would be Chelsea's hideous speckly grey and tangerine number. Effing hideous!
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 17:52:00

26 The magnanimous graciousness in defeat of Arsenal fans everywhere, on here and countless other forums we have taken this result with dignity, good spirits and even the odd wry chuckle. A reaction which itself speaks volumes about the grand canyonesque gulf between us and the tinytotts. Suffice to say if this result had been reversed vital sp*rs would have made the News at 10 as the latest online suicide site whose members had decided to commit collective Hari Kari, squabbling and bickering all the way to the grave lol.
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23/01/2008 18:24:00

27 The knowledge that if you had told any Spud pre-season that they knock us out of the CC but would be in the bottom half of the league having lost to Arsenal twice in the league already they would have been spitting with fury that anyone could doubt their ability to totally dominate the world of football.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 19:13:00

28. Berbatov is still gonna ***** on 'em in the summer and do one!
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23/01/2008 19:40:00

29. We've got Cesc Fabregas, We've got Cesc Fabregas
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23/01/2008 19:41:00

30 Chavs a big club? couldnt sell their full allocation for Everton away in the semi final.
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23/01/2008 19:54:00

31. The loudest I've ever heard the home support at Thee Point Lane and it was in the Semi Final of a cup brought about to give smaller ckubs a chance of European competition and silverware.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 20:38:00

31. This article. Funny stuff. :)
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 20:42:00

32. How funny was it when you gooners were crying for Adeyourmumsawhore!
n17 yid
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23/01/2008 20:50:00

32. Take the crappy mood you may currently be in then imagine it multiplied x1000, then go slam your cock repeatedly in the refrigerator door whilst listening to Westlifes greatest hits... EVEN then you will STILL be NOWHERE close to the pain felt by spuds a couple of seasons ago when their team soiled themselves in a spectacular fashion and handed champions league to The Arsenal.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 20:58:00

lmfao niko!!!!!!1
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23/01/2008 21:09:00

33. the collective back down to earth feelings of all spuds as Joe Cole Scored.
Report Abuse
23/01/2008 21:48:00

Jesus, Spurs v Chelsea. It's a bit like choosing between shagging Kelly Osborne or Yoko Ono.
Little Dutch
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23/01/2008 21:53:00

LD and Gooners, all very well done! I really am proud you all (except a few odd guys who aren't taking defeat too well but only very few of them). So to chip in one: 34. We truly have great sense of humour despite the nightmare, to add to 26. graciousness as Niko suggested. All others are VALID REASONS to be cheerful too. And I am. :)
Lou the Gunneress
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23/01/2008 22:55:00

typo: add "to" between "proud" and "you" sorry
Lou the Gunneress
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23/01/2008 22:56:00

Apologies to you too Lou as I forgot to add a slam your boobs in the refrigerator door option for all the ladies out there lol.
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23/01/2008 23:18:00

Er.. too much information there, but yeah the sentiment's right. I strangely could start to imagine how hellish they must have been feeling these 9 years. I was absolutely gutted for like a few hours and that was absolutely terrible, imagine that season in, season out... I kinda feel for them, strangely but I had never felt so much empathy for them before. People say traumas bring out the best in someone eh?
Lou the Gunneress
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23/01/2008 23:32:00

Thomas Bendtner, Niklas' father and agent, could have just told Arsene and not the press about what happened between his son and Ade...
Lou the Gunneress
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23/01/2008 23:34:00

Very good gooners. I like the humour!
Real Deal
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24/01/2008 00:05:00

35. We have every opportunity next season of celebrating 10 seasons without losing a premiership match to the Spuds.
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 01:34:00

what a load of bolloocks just get on with lief and win the title
ozanne park rangers
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24/01/2008 06:59:00

and you are alive in the prem so get over it 5-1 5-1
ozanne park rangers
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24/01/2008 06:59:00

I want Tottenham to lose, but i don't want Chelsea to win. LD - Kelly Osbourne Vs Yoko? More like Beth Ditto VS Vanessa Feltz.
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 09:32:00

I love no.7 :)
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 11:49:00

36. Knowing that i was probley the ONLY person at white hart lane on wednesday night that has seen the title won there twice!! Yep I really am 47 next month ;-(
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 12:15:00

37. The inevitable "But we WILL overtake you in 2008/2009" thread on the Vital Arsenal forum, written by a foaming and humourless lunatic.
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24/01/2008 12:22:00

For Chelski to win the CC and only the CC it will be a season of failure, especially when you spend £300 million plus on players over a few years, so i have no problems with them winning it. If spuds end up empty handed i would rather they did it in the final so we can have a good laugh at the supporters crying at the end as they nearly always lose to chelski. Simple really!
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 12:29:00

***** artical by sore losin goon
glendalough yid
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24/01/2008 15:32:00

Anyone that reads an article that affirms Derby will escape relegation, and doesn't realise it's meant to be a joke, probably is unaware of a phenomenon commonly known as 'irony.'
Little Dutch
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24/01/2008 16:04:00

+++STOP PRESS+++CUP RESULT COULD BE OVERTURNED IN LEAGUE INVESTIGATION++++ League investigating why Teemu Tainio was twice as heavy when he finished the game... after exhaustive enquiries turns out it was because he had Fabregas in his pocket.
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 16:12:00

oh how easy was that for them . glad to see the spurs win for once
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 16:16:00

Mesmo! Dont you mean huddleston??? Oh no, his just a fat........
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 16:37:00

Bloody Hell, didn't take them long did it:
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 16:39:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHA saisho I went over to the site but didn't expect to find it but guess what??? What a bunch of turds we have as our neighbors!
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 16:50:00

It gets better, there's a mug too!! Oh my.
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 17:36:00

lmao.....i tot u guys were merely pulling their legs......they actually went out and released it within 2days.......and a mug too!!!! and btw guys ES has written an article rating the arsenal players performance...which clearly shows that an utter idiot he is.....that guy thinks making gallas captain was a bad desicion...and he thinks alex hleb is no good.......wat a moron
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 18:10:00

Fantastic. they haven't won anything yet, but have still released a DVD. I've never seen anything like it - I don' think even Birmingham would sink to this level if they beat us. Just shows how small time they really are!!!!! It's cheered me up today anyway! Hahahahahahahaha
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 18:44:00

HAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA But seriously, I AM disappointed! Only a DVD and a mug?!?!? I had guessed they'd wait till Feb (a) to publish only a "World-beating 5-1" DVD if they lose to Chelsea - the most possible scenario; or (b) in the unlikely event of them beating Chelsea, they'll publish an entire box set about their CC run with all kinds of goodies apart from the DVD, like Ramos- and Puyet-autographed photos framed in Carling Cup-shaped photo frames, limited edition match day programme with champagne stains, a 2D miniature Carling Cup-shaped mouse pad, 3D Carling Cup-shaped mug, paperweight, keyring, rubber, pet food plate, table lamp and a banana to commemorate a similar one being thrown at Cesc at a corner. Just a DVD and a mug? Really disappointing!
Lou the Gunneress
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24/01/2008 22:08:00

This is joke No.4 fulfilled - reason to be cheerful indeed. Can't wait to check the other boxes!
Lou the Gunneress
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24/01/2008 22:12:00

Reason's to be cheerful NUMBER 1 !!!!!!!! The thought of KAKA skipping past your mid-field,nutmegging GALLAS and calmly beating the peroxide boy in goal to claim his second hat-trick over the two legs.ENJOY INDEED MY LITTLE ARSEhols.
Report Abuse
24/01/2008 23:03:00

dear silly can one get. WIN THE BLEEDING CUP FIRST.
Report Abuse
25/01/2008 09:23:00

Now, we only need to wait for the 'I was there when hell froze over' shirts to be printed ;)
Report Abuse
25/01/2008 09:30:00

did we just thrash a "big" club 5-1?
Report Abuse
25/01/2008 09:43:00

yep u did...after 22 trys
Report Abuse
25/01/2008 09:45:00

22 long trys...and 9 loooong years. CONGRATS DUDE
Report Abuse
25/01/2008 09:47:00


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