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The Roaring Twenties

1. Steven Gerrard dived for a penalty on two occasions last Sunday. Why did no media outlet report this?

2.Why have no questions been asked of Howard Webb? Last Sunday he waved play on after a foul on van Persie, Adebayor then ran through on goal only for Webb to reverse his decision. Why has this not been reported by a single media outlet?

3. Wayne Rooney handled the ball in the area in the last minute last Sunday. Why has this not been reported by a single media outlet?

4. Arsenal fans spontaneously stayed behind and sang "we love you Arsenal" constantly, for twenty five minutes after the final whistle last Sunday, before being forcibly removed by over zealous United stewards. Why has this not been reported by a single media outlet?

5. How would Sly Sports have reacted had obese, bare chested Geordies performed the same gesture? (Fat chance, they`d be over at the boardroom window shouting 'sack the board`).

6. Leeds United were deducted fifteen points at the beginning of the season. This week, a panel will sit and review the decision, but cannot promise a final decision will be made for "another three or four weeks." This will take us up until after the first leg of the play off semi final has been played. Given that Leeds currently sit 13 points outside the play off zone, do the Football League not think it might be a decent idea for them to get their lazy arses into gear?

7. Do television companies not realise how completely unfair it was to ask Chelsea to play on television twice in a week? That means they bored us all shitless twice in four days.

8. With Manchester United to play Blackburn (managed by Fergie protégé Mark Hughes) and West Ham (managed by Fergie`s pal Curbishley) and Wigan (managed by Fergie protégé Steve Bruce), can Chelsea safely assume that nobody will do them any favours?

9. How did John Terry react to the news that eleven of Chelsea`s fourteen Youth Cup Final team were non British?

10. Did anyone else spot the irony of Kevin Davies, the Premiership`s dirtiest footballer bar Michael Brown, picking up a two match suspension courtesy of a ridiculously harsh yellow card?

11. Anyone else taken a sudden liking towards Barcelona?

12. Did anybody else really cringe at Hicks` recorded interview in which he demanded the resignation of Alan Parry? With the kids in Liverpool shirts. Ugh. Almost as cringe worthy as calling your ill conceived, filthy takeover holdings company Red and White.

13. Ian Wright quit the BBC this week, complaining that he was made into a 'court jester` figure. Is he familiar with the expression that if it is pink, has a curly tail and goes oink, it`s usually a pig? (Wrighty is a player I love, but as a pundit, embarrassing).

14. How does Gary Megson have the gumption to implore Rafa Benitez to 'retain the integrity of the Premier League` with his team selection after picking his under 12s in the UEFA Cup?

15. David Moyes was charged with misconduct this week for comments he made in October. Is this the newly sped up disciplinary process the F.A promised us?

16. Will Adebayor hit the thirty goal mark this season and would it make him the most maligned striker ever to reach that figure? (He sits on 26 with four games remaining).

17. Will anyone pay attention to poor Nicky Bendtner? (Positive attention, not the sort where they head butt him!)

18. Fernando Torres has told the press that Ronaldo "carries United on his back at times." You`d know all about that wouldn`t you Nando?

19. Did Manuel Almunia hurt his wrist bitch slapping Jens Lehmann?

20. To those of you about to bash furiously at your keyboards declaring how much you hate this weekly series and how infuriating you find it. Can I ask why you keep reading it?LD.

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The Journalist

Writer: Tim Stillman Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday April 18 2008

Time: 2:41PM

Your Comments

Number 1 is just silly, He's Ickle Stevie, what else do you expect? He gets away with it all the time.
Fan of Blues
Leeds sit 13 points off the automatic places, not the play offs. Either the FA have screwed this up as much as the tevez saga. A joke, it's as bad as the Spainish FA
No.7 is so true.....Q.21 Sagna has been out for 4 weeks(i think) and they said he would recover after about 3 so where the **** is he???
My bad! That's what I meant, automatic places!
Little Dutch
Related to questions #2-#5, why did none of the media replay Gilberto's foul on Evra that resulted in Hargreaves' goal?
Q11 yes i did for one night only. turned out to be a great night. thanks for asking!!!!!
Therein lies the difference dspurs, I couldn't give a toss about anyone you're playing in the WAFFA Cup. Mostly, because I haven't heard of them……..
Little Dutch
Was that "foul" supposed to be in inverted commas jaelle? Because you can't replay something that didn't happen in the first place :-)
Little Dutch
you heard of p s v?
Yeah, nice warm stadium with heaters in the stands. Boring town though. Apparently in stadium heaters cause opponents to melt in penalty shoot outs.
Little Dutch
LD, true enuf! There was no foul. Extraordinary how many fouls the mancs were allowed against us in that game (which is nothing new, really) with no bookings. I just re-watched it two nights ago and it's still very unclear to me just exactly what Gilberto did against Evra.
#22- why is it fans of Pompey, Liverpool, even Chelsea, make comments here that actually add something, but Spuds fans are incapable of anything even remotely interesting, intelligent, or full of bile and delusion?
* that should read NOT full of bile and delusion : )
elbondo. its called a sense of humour something most gooners dont have?
quite a generalization there.. would you find it a fair comment if i said most spurs fans are deluded idiots?
dspurs64, we always have a good laugh at you lot! But I'll give credit where it's due- your admission to being a fan of Barca for one night was pretty good (and good-natured too, so thanks for that). The likes of spurminbarca and YidEdy could learn from you.
dspurs - surely this entire article invalidates your stupid blinkered comment? Lighten up, mug. AS for "7. Do television companies not realise how completely unfair it was to ask Chelsea to play on television twice in a week? That means they bored us all *****less twice in four days" - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
wrong, dspurs, and totally hypocritical. you and your ilk whine all the time about gooners winding you up on VitalSpuds, the only reason spuddies like you are over here is to exact some revenge at all the jokes gooners inflict on you. you guys have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. you accuse us of being sore losers when for over 9 years we gooners have had to listen to you whine whine whine moan moan moan after every victory we've had over you, with you guys using excuses like we didn't deserve to win the game, we cheated, the ref was biased against you, etc. you actually think you have some real material to use against us. my problem is that you spuddies aren't creative or original in your low-rent dime-a-dozen jokes, you're just boring and repetitive. the class of your windup material is hilariously sophomoric. it's why I can't take any of you seriously, you're a couple of sad little 10-12 year olds.
I don't think words like 'sophomoric' are used in the daily star jaelle, your point will disappear over their heads.
Little Dutch
Er, 23. Am I the only one dreading the possibility of seeing Flam in a Juventus shirt in the pre-season Emirates Cup? :/
Lou the Gunneress
SOPORIFIC. is the word your looking for. clever dick!!
lol dspurs time to leave i think.
so-pho-mor-ic: adj: Exhibiting great immaturity and lack of judgment so-por-if-ic: adj: State induced from having to listen to spuds supporters.
Yes thats what you cause me dspurs. I feel drowsy everytime you talk.
24. Just a couple of days ago, Arsene said he was looking for 1 experienced player. Then today he said a few things, two of which were: end of April is the deadline for Flamini, and he's looking for 2 quality players. My question is, er, does 1+1=2?
Lou the Gunneress
yes, anyone with any intelligence knows what SO-PHO-MOR-IC means, but the word SOP-OR-IFIC is the word that describes what you do to ignoramus goons!
So it seems that you didn't understand that the posters above did actually understand what soporific means? Or that you didn't understand their humour? Oops, let's not go there, right?
Lou the Gunneress
Desperately trying to save face dspurs eh! Don't worry no one noticed the word sophomoric had gone over your head as LD predicted - you have probably got away with it!!!! You have the syllable placement wrong on the word soporific though - it has 4 syllables not the 3 you show. It's as well to pay attention to the detail if you want to convince everyone.
In the future, I'll try to write in Jack-and-Jill English for the benefit of the spuddies. That is, if I ever direct any other posts to them, which is doubtful.
25. Do Arsenal want to buy Shaun Wright Phillips? Yours for a tenner! I kid... For a tenner, I'd throw in Malouda.
Or you can say that to Milan about Sheva? We're the ones who rip other clubs off, much less often the other way around. lol
Lou the Gunneress
lol damn. Worth a go though huh? :P
Also - Gerrard's diving was mentioned in the Daily Mail... By Graham Poll of all people. First time I've ever thought Poll spoke sense.
Speaking of Milan, an Italian friend of mine who's got some "insider connections" at the club told me yesterday that they're indeed getting Ronaldinho. She said with a sad, disappointed face: "We don't need him - especially not to be in front of Pato." I reminded her, "You need someone aged 30 or below at the back." Her face grew longer lol I looked at her and just bursted into laughter: "Hey I guess your President cum Prime Minister's trying to do the first thing for the Italian economy since he's back to power - to boost employment by one and to sell a few Milan shirts." lol So I guess your Sheva is to stay with you unfortunately. lol
Lou the Gunneress
We'll give him for free, Crespo style if it'll get him back playing well. Shevchenko at his best was a joy to watch.
Yes, "was." And hey SWP isn't that bad. Nor Malouda. When fit. (You can see how desperate we are for a winger lol)
Lou the Gunneress
90% chance Malouda will be bought by Arsenal.
Anyone home? Are you guys watching the game? Don't know where to talk about it, no preview this week.
Lou the Gunneress
no preview this week....your season is well and truly over..and what is the obsession with jt..all he said that having a few english lads would help arsenal...which is exactly what our youth team had 4 english most of our other young ones are either on loan or playing in the reserves..we have one of the youngest reserves team in the give is it a rest hombres!!
yeah and your youth team lost to Man City. Next.
You will probably have the most expensive runner up team in the history of football too essientric. Congrats and all that 8-) Must make you feel real proud.
Ps) My nan wants to know where Chelsea are playing away next. If it's Bognor Regis, she's well up for it. She normally has to pay a couple of quid to get there, so the free coach ride is great. She could also sell her free Chav tickets to the local insomniac association too, so it's a real win win situation for nan. Thanks Uncle Roman!
Our youth team is top of the pile, since you're so interested in kids. Our reserves team = youth team virtually, the only handful of 2nd-string in the first team who've played a couple of games at that level are 23 or below. I don't know if that's "one of the youngest reserves team in the league" but I wouldn't bother to mention. And of course Chelsea have one of the youngest reserves teams in the league, no doubt! Sheva, Sidwell and Pizarro don't even have to play there when they're out of your first XI. And that gives Chelsea have the most extravagant idle spectators team too. And to build on Flv's note, I think you're also fastly becoming the most expensive empty-handed team since the invention of the ball in ancient cilivisations and since the establishment of the football game in the history of football worldwide ever all-round.
Lou the Gunneress
in answers to all questions regarding the media - they hate arsenal, infact most people hate arsenal 1. because of your manager, 2. because of players like adeybayor and lehman and finally your fans saying they dont care about the CC (EVEN THO THE PLAYERS CLEARLY DO, THE BRAWLS AT CARDIFF AND WHITE HART LANE SHOW THIS YOU MUGS)
.....and if arsene is a great manager why the hell would he let that muppet lehman go to the media and disrespect aluminum - the media that hates you so much
I have nothing against Spurs. But I hope them give Reading much-need 3 points to keep them up, and hopefully push Bolton down at the same time. They'd find next week's opponents Wigan a tough nut to crack at their place so need to get 3 points from home against Spurs in order not to rely on others to stay up. Birmingham look like they're going down too, still with tough games ahead. Looks like Clichy's charity would count for nothing, oh well.
Lou the Gunneress
typo: -them +they'll
Lou the Gunneress
spudinbatter, and its muppets like you make us gooners just laugh at you!!! LOL
Q21. 11. Anyone else taken a sudden liking towards........oh wait, who have Arsenal got in the Champions League again?
UFL. Bore off!!
Q21: Will Wenger ever see? Q22: Does Posh Spice hold more personality than our manager? Q23: How many daughters does Steve bruce has? Q24: How come Wayne Looney only gets sent off for popping people's balls ?Q25: Will Ferguson ever stop chewing that damn gum? Q26: What's in the gum, cocaine?Alcohol?Chewable wine? Q27: Will a ry come back? Q28: Fernando Torres's face is "doll" like? Q29: How the hell does a little midget looking like satan constantly stealth's himself and scores on the last minute? It's like Mike Tyson sneaking in a Nazi meeting, eating cookies, drinking milk, totally unnoticed. Q30: Does Walcott remind you of Ringo Starr a little bit?Q31: Why did the adebay-prefix went out of fashion?Q32 WHERE the hell is Amelia Earhart?Q33 : Who's better, Milli Vanilli or Mc Hammer? Q34 Sex Pistols or Nirvana?Q35 Boy George or Elton John? Q36Tottenham or Barnsley?Q37 The next statement is true. The previous statement is false.Is the statement true or false?Q38 Next season never dies? Q39:How can you make Laws of Motion if you died without experimenting the best type of motion in the world??. Q40: IZ IT GANGZTA TO WRITE IN CAPZ LOCK?

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