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Bladder Opens His Mouth

Ah, the foul stench of manure is upon us again. Where can it be emanating from? Has Martin Samuel written another love letter for Frank Lampard? Steven Gerrard in an England shirt? Tottenham claiming that this year, definitely this year, they will finish fourth? Nope. Septic Bladder once again pollutes the world of football with one of his ill advised and frankly, stupid rants about something or other. But whilst Bladder`s pathetic mumblings usually resemble an incontinent, drunken Grandad babbling away to himself in his armchair, reeking of piss on Christmas day, Bladder has decided a bit of offensive humour is in order.

Bladder has opened up his bowels once again and poured forth the following bile regarding Cristiano Ronaldo,
"If the player wants to play somewhere else, then a solution should be found because if he stays in a club where he does not feel comfortable to play then it's not good for the player and for the club." Yep, with you so far, player wants move, club say no. Player acts like arsehole, stamps and cries until he gets what he wants (ahem, Alex Hleb).
'I'm always in favour of protecting the player and if the player, he wants to leave, let him leave.' Hmmm, yes I suppose in that instant it`s probably best for the club to sell, who wants and unhappy puppy in their squad eh?
'I think in football there's too much modern slavery in transferring players or buying players here and there, and putting them somewhere."

WHAT? Slavery? SLAVERY? Are you for fucking real? Slavery? Maybe my GCSE History lessons were somewhat scattergun with their selection of facts but I don`t recall being taught that cotton pickers in Alabama earned over fifty times the average working wage. Maybe Booker T. Washington was just being a real negative Nelly, but I don`t remember anything in 'Up From Slavery` about slaves being able to choose their masters based on who offered them the most money. Maybe I`m being naïve Sepp, but I don`t think, and maybe I am wrong, but I`m sure Cristiano Ronaldo was not forced to sign a five year contract with Manchester United last year. My understanding is that he signed with his own pen of his own accord. Slaves aren`t afforded this luxury (not to mention the cars, the houses, the goal bonuses, the appearance bonuses), they are sold to an individual against their will. And it`s not just a slave`s working practice that is overseen by his owner, it`s his entire life. I also don`t think slaves were paid gargantuan sums to play games; it was a little more strenuous than that Septic. But hey, if your interpretation of being a slave involves voluntarily subjugating oneself contracts worth weekly six figure sums, getting a bonus just for turning up for work, working three hours a day and spending the rest of it on sports cars and Madrid pierre d`terres, then I`m more than happy to come and work for you under these abominable conditions.

Right, now putting aside the utterly offensive and not to mention despicable metaphor indulged by Bladder, let`s repudiate how hypocritical, self serving and stultifying ill informed his latest assertion is. Firstly, Septic you were actually asked to intervene in this matter last month. Remember? United complained to you and your cronies about Madrid`s illegal pursuit of Ronaldo. You chose not to get involved. So why the fuck have you stuck your oar in now? You were asked to get involved. You refused. So your opinion is officially and at your own behest, worth the square root of sod all. If I didn`t know better, I would be convinced you were simply trying to facilitate the removal of the Premiership`s best player into another of your more favoured leagues, such as Spain. To your favourite team too, Real Madrid. Of course that`s all tish and fipsy; the powers that be have no such inclination to attempt to hamstring the strongest league in Europe in any small, trifling way possible.

Now Sepp, if you really are truly indignant and looking to strike an Arthur Scargill type blow for workers` rights, I suggest you look towards this loophole I have kindly searched out for you. Are you aware of an organisation named FIFA? What? You are the head of FIFA? Well then surely you are aware of the subterfuge you created? It`s called a transfer request. If Ronaldo has had enough of being whipped with wads of cash and has developed a sore cock from having had too many blowjobs at the Christmas party, he can hand in a transfer request. Sure, that waives his right to a signing on fee at his new club, but I hardly think that was a huge matter for 19th Century abolitionists. Secondly, I fumbled across some quotes from one of your FIFA colleagues from January of this year.
"The decision which CAS took on 30 January is very damaging for football and a Pyrrhic victory for those players and their agents, who toy with the idea of rescinding contracts before they have been fulfilled. Because of this unfortunate decision, the principle of contractual stability, as agreed in 2001 with the European Commission as part of the new transfer regulations and which restored order to the transfer system, has been deemed less important than the short-term interests of the player involved.'
I`m not sure if you are aware of your colleague`s opinion, but you might want to tell him to tow the party line a bit more. I don`t know, perhaps he`s some work experience chap who got caught cold with a microphone under his nose. Anyway, for your reference the name of the gentleman who gave the above quote was Sepp Blatter.

Bladder has always been irritating and stupid; I do not know one single football fan that has referred to his abilities in moderate terms, let alone with glowing commendation. He has toyed with mildly un PC dribblings before (something about women footballers wearing tighter shorts. Which, coming from a man of his age, makes me feel sick to my stomach in its lecherousness). But this time he has really crossed the line into downright offensive. Any MP of any standing in most European countries would be forced to resign on the back of statements comparing multi millionaire footballers with slaves. Bladder`s entirely contrary statements surrounding player contracts from earlier this year reveal that either; Bladder does not know his own mind and has a defective short term memory or he has an ulterior motive at heart driven by a surreptitious agenda. Either way, he is unfit, unable and morally ill positioned to carry out a job of this standing. His continued employment has been a murky shit stain on the toilet bowl of football for some time. But now, his failure to resign will be a grave insult to people who spent any portion of their lives in slavery. Real slavery.LD.




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The Journalist

Writer: Tim Stillman Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday July 10 2008

Time: 2:12PM

Your Comments

Blatter was bang out of order with those comments of his. He started off ok (yes, if a player really wants to move, he should but thats what a transfer request is for), and then dug himself a deep hole when comparing it to slavery - so out of order, it cannot be properly explained in words !
prits
he's an absolute idiot. slavery? last i checked, making nonsense money like ronaldo is already making and at a CL-winning side no less, that's hardly slavery! boo hoo, the player may actually have to honor his contract...
RadioactiveD
I would first like to thank you for making this article. I was Effin livid when I read this. I actually see it as an insult to the people who went through slavery in the past. At the end of the day football players sign a contract and earn a decent fee in Ronaldo's case 100k a week. Slaves were forced onto a ship working for nothing and getting lynched. What he said was pretty insensitive and stupid. I just cannot piece together why someone would make that comparison.
Gunners
Who does he answer to though?
shewore
Virtually every sentence of that piece hits home. Right between the eyes. You would have to be a pretty dense individual not to feel them arrows. So Sepp Blatter will be all right then.
Amos.
Blatter answers to NO ONE. I just find it incredible how Blatter and FIFA seem to be some kind of unrestrained global power all on their own, with no accountability. They hand down decisions that reek of blatant double standards, political convenience, moral hypocrisy and hidden agendas -- and just get away with it. There's nothing anyone can do. I don't know of any other sport so controlled by such globally powerful, corrupt, incompetent, deeply ignorant politically neanderthal old men who seem to exist in some kind of archaic bubble from centuries past. They don't even live in the 20th century, let alone the 21st. Blatter is easily one of the most repulsive, ignorant, incompetent, corrupt individuals on the planet, I don't get how such a person gets to be in his position for such a long time. Surely if the situation were reversed--if a player like Cronaldo was playing at RM and was being tapped up by MU, he'd have an entirely different argument to make.
jaelle
I don't think I've disliked a man in football this much ever.
ArsenalRob
unbelievable. the fact that this IDIOT is still in office shows how much credibility FIFA as an institution has. I am also inclined to believe that this excuse of a person is on the payroll of certain clubs. The sooner he goes (and takes Platini with him) the better off the footballing world will be. Slavery... pfff.
G4L
WOW...LD. I heard his comments and have been waiting for u to reply. You sure unleased some vernom this time. Well what can i say...it just a hillarious thing to say...i wld definitely love to be a slave if this is modern slavery
number14
Surprise, surprise... Ronaldo has just responded to this, saying that "he agrees with the slave comment by Sepp Blatter", according to Sky hehehee.. Lots of drama ahead.
Lou the Gunneress
FIFA Statutes: Article 13 Respect of Contract: A contract between a Professional and a club may only be terminated on expiry of the term of the contract or by mutual agreement.
Amos.
FIFA Statutes: Article 1: Para 3(b): Each Association shall include in its regulations appropriate means to protect contractual stability, paying due respect to mandatory national law and collective bargaining agreements. In particular, the following principles should be considered: – Art. 13: The principle that contracts must be respected.
Amos.
One day Blatter will do something brilliant for football........he'll retire.
Little Dutch
Slavery = £100k a week. Bring it on please.
storagematt
This blatant anti-Premier League stance is getting beyond a joke. It's so obvious. Even though I'm dead against it, I almost want the Premier League to go ahead and do the 39th game just to stick up Blatter, Platini and the rest of them.
Gooner_Vin
his comments today are up their with his suggestion to make Football Pitchs Oval to get rid of Throwins and Corners, the man is an idiot. and the worst thing Ronaldo argees with him, what is this world coming to.
ExRox
Cronaldo's comment to Portuguese TV- 'I agree with the comments of the president of FIFA. What he said is right,' - make the recent antics of Adebayor and Hleb seem absolutely benign.
elbondo
Lol oval pitches. I agree with people in here it's sad for the football world when prats like Platini and Blatter have a say. I wonder if Real Madrid bribed him to say those words though. Just seems so stupid. Simple fact is Manu offered Ronaldo 120k on the condition that he would stay with them for four years Ronaldo accepted those terms. What people need to realise is that clubs wouldn't pay players as much as they do if they would just up and leave when they please. You sign a contract that isn't slavery, it's a business agreement plain and simple, club agrees to pay you, you agree to commit yourself to the club for some years.
Gunners
Very good article! Brilliant find with the Blatter quote. It seems this guy really does have an agenda against the EPL; maybe he deems it a little too successful, both financially and on the pitch. Again, I say, great article.
spurjon
Good article, but is it just English football he likes to keep having a go at, seems that way.
Tiny T
WE GOT NASRI!
afri-gooner
I guess I'm going to ruffle more than a few feathers for the following comments...first of all, let me clarify that I'm NOT a fan of Blatter and I'm not writing to defend him. But I'm just wondering if we've this preconceived dislike of the man that we just discount whatever that comes out from his mouth? Many of us are taking issue with the use of the term "slavery" - I shared the opinions of many here that it is plain senile when u consider the obscene $$$ players are bringing home each week. But taking this hilarious choice of word out, i personally agree with some parts of his comments. For most of us, we sign employment contracts as well. If I'm not happy with my job, or if there's a better offer elsewhere, I tender my resignation and serve the required notice period and viola, I'm free to go. Would anyone be happy if he is "forced" to work at a place that he desperately wants to leave? Or, be "stopped" from going to another company that pays 2 times more in salary for doing exactly the same job? And will this benefit anyone when the company has to bear with a disgruntled staff? The fact that players are being sold and bought like commodities in today's world, I'm not sure but doesn't it quite reminiscent of the trade of slaves in some way? Far fetched it may seem, but if football adopts the corporate employment way, then perhaps "transfer fees" would be a thing of the past, then clubs would have to moderate their wage structure, then players' wages would be more reasonable and not spiral out of control like it is now, and fans would not need to suffer by paying more and more for tickets and cable Tv...
Temasek
Football is a very unique business Temasek, it's true a player cannot serve a notice period and move to another company. However, there is a massive benefit to their contracts. For instance, they are guaranteed an income for the duration of their contracts, even if Ronaldo's performance level drops, he's guaranteed £120k a week for five eyars at United. In our jobs, we won't have that luxury, Ronaldo could play in the reserves on that wage. Most of our companies won't have a structure whereby we can earn money, guaranteed, by being a reserve or sitting on a subs bench Bogarde style. In an ordinary job, Bogarde would have been made redundant.
Little Dutch
I understand the "uniqueness" part, LD. What I feel is perhaps somehow football should "de-unique-fy" its business aspect and follow the corporate way. That's a big hope, I know
Temasek
There is a difference between an employment contract and a service contract. These players are not only selling their labour but image rights to the club and other internal and external sponsors - in many cases establishing themselves as a corporate body to handle there affairs. In this regard if I as a company enter into a contract to provide a service to another body for an agreed period of time I would be subjecting myself to the risk of a claim for damages should I just cancel that contract because I have been offered a better contract elsewhere. Not all 'employees' have the freedom of contract that you are taking for granted. Football is not unique in its employment processes. There are specific rules for 'employees' of the armed forces for example which provide similar restrictions on contract termination to those 'service' contracts that footballers freely enter into.
Amos.
Yet more emerges, found this over on F365 from November 2006. 'FIFA President Joseph S. Blatter today received the title of honorary member of Real Madrid and a gold and diamond club badge from Real Madrid president Ramón Calderón at a ceremony held at the Santiago Bernabéu stadium in Madrid. "I am proud to receive this important distinction and sign this collaboration agreement with Real Madrid, a club which was a founder member of FIFA in 1904, was declared the Twentieth Century's Best Club in 2000 and was awarded the FIFA Centennial Order of Merit in 2004" said Blatter at the time. "I am convinced that together we can make a significant contribution to making the world a better place and, above all, bring joy and hope to young ones through our sport."
Little Dutch
That's just it, as Amos points out, players hand over their registration to the club. Another thing that's been pointed out to me is how can Bladder get all high and mighty about players being able to play where they like, weeks after proposing to put limits on that very liberty with the 6+5 rule? How does advocating the transfer of a Portuguese player to a Spanish team fit into that exactly? ******** moron.
Little Dutch
Temasek - How many of the companies you have worked for paid your previous company a transfer fee for the use of your skills?
LondonGooner
I thought I made my point clear enough - I understand CURRENTLY the diff between contract in corporate and Football world - what I am saying is maybe it is time for football to adopt the corporate way... do away with transfer fees, do away with tying the salary for a said period even if a player flops badly, and allow both parties to go separate way should one desires...and LG, u probably had not read my post clearly to ask me that question
Temasek
I suspect a number of players would start to whinge if a club no longer needed them and simply offered them statutory redundancy pay. That's no more than a weeks pay (half a week if under 22) for each full year you have completed.
Amos.
Oh..... and under the statutory redundancy scheme the maximum weekly salary the employer would have to adopt is currently £330. A 26 year old having played for the club for 2 years would get £660.
Amos.
An anuvver fing! If a club had employed a player and he didn't make the mark provided you sacked him before he completes a years service he can't even claim compo for unfair dismissal. Maybe players wouldn't be happy with standard employment law after all.
Amos.
Temasek, it wasn't a case of reading the post properly, it's just that I have no sympathy or empathy for footballers who complain of any slave like treatment and cannot condone any one in thier priviledged positions moaning about thier ill fortune comparing it to people who were killed when thier usefullness ran out. And even though you said there is a difference between football and "normal" working life you then try aand use a very tenuous set of connections to help them identify with each other, it just won't cut the mujstard with anyone here or anywhere else I know of!
LondonGooner
Stepp Ladder and Platini basically hate English football and the Premier League and have no desire to see it keeping the best players and being the best league in the world. Did they moan when Spanish clubs bossed the Champions League for years? Did they call them "cheats" because they had debts? Did they encourage their players to leave for English clubs? Did they *****. Blatter = scum.
Moorish
Great article. I had a mind of myself to publish a similar one but to be honest I have grown so bored of the whle Ronaldo thing, that every news item revolved around him i ignore. having said that, what you wrote was completey true and i question myself whether i could right somrthing aa s true and direct to the point than this. i belive this summers transfer window has connected remier league rivals for a shirt window of time. Ronaldo, Adebayor, Hleb, Barry and Lampars...we are all going through it.
united4life
And just to add to this, there are many previous examples of a player wanting out. As little back as Owen Hargreaves, i dont remeber Blatter coming out and expressing his "sympathy" with Hargreaves for wanting out of Bayren. The whole thins is ludicrous, how can these people be in charge of such a huge global business. Its tantamount to having a raving racist and sexist in charge of one of the worlds superpowers. Oh wait, i forgot about Bush....
united4life
You have lost before you even started, once you try to compare a regular worker person to a professional footballer, dont even mention slavery, absurd in the worst way. Please stop trying to defend the indefensible. Temasek, since the current situation of these players is so deplorable, why the hell do they "choose" to play football? especially with the nerve of their employers expecting them to see out their contracts of up to 120,000/wk! how dare them! So in your veiw that football should become corporate, a player should be able to give a two weeks notice and be able to leave the club, right? So how many clubs should they be able to change within a season, 1,2,3,4? as long as they give the two weeks notice of course. Unbelievable! I live in the US now, recently I went to the Buffalo Soldier Museum in Houston. Seeing how black people fought wars in and for the freedom of America only to be treated as less than a man after, not to recieve the honors due them, helps you realize what the deal is and how people have suffered in this world. There is just no way "modern footballer" and "slavery" should be used in the same sentence. If there was ever an oxymoron, this is it. Do not defend it! God Bless!!!
Paulsito
Paulsito, thanks but I dun need any history lessons to understand what real sufferings are. I dun stay in a superpower nation like US, my course of work had bring me to different countries in my region and witness first hand the kind of hardships and challenges faced by the many less fortunate people presently. When you've seen kids calling a rubbish dumping site their home just so that they can scrap for something edible or usable, the suggestion that I'm trying to defend these obscenely paid footballers (those from my beloved Arsenal included) come as the worst possible insult. I am a paid worker in the charity sector, and if u use the UK or US standard, I probably belong to the lowest income group. With rising inflationary pressure, watching football on cable TV has become more and more of a luxury rather than leisure. But shouldn’t football be meant for the masses universally? I just feel the way football business is run today is basically benefiting a few (clubs, players, agents) at the expenses of many (the fans). I know the way football business is run has been shaped for many years, but should we just constraint ourselves that this is the only and best option available? That was the essence of my hope that football will one day adopts the “corporate” way. Once club and player are able to part company by giving a fair amount of notice to each other, transfer fee will be a thing of the past, clubs will be more prudent or start paying decent but reasonable instead of astronomical wages and hopefully, we fans will benefit when tickets and cable are bring back to a more affordable level. And Paulsito, I don’t think we need to be concerned about “how many clubs should they be able to change within a season, 1,2,3,4” if football goes the corporate way. There will always be the minority who “job-hop” many times a year but the majority do stay in a company for a considerable time.
Temasek
I had expected lots of sticks when I put up the post but looking back that “expectation” seemed far too optimistic and conservative. Visiting this site has been a daily affair and most of the time I’m just contented to read the articles and comments that I can relate with. Putting up a post happens often when I don’t see comments that reflect my thoughts so please allow me to put in my last remarks on this subject. If wage is the only yardstick, associating footballers with the term “slave” makes a mockery out of the Oxford dictionary. My Oxford describes slave as being legally owned and forced to work and it is in this context that I drawn comparison with players. Aren’t football players “legally owned” by the club which can be sold or bought like commodities? If club can decide to accept an offer for a player to reap handsome profit, what is wrong with player requesting a move to another club which will double his wages? If the club rejects, wouldn’t the player be “forced” to play against his wish? Please do not misunderstand me, I am not advocating the rights of the players in this context. I totally think this situation is absurd and that is why I feel football should go the corporate way as mentioned earlier. But if all of us accept that this is how and the only wary football business should be run, then we should all accept the rules of the game. We should all accept that players/agents/media/clubs making use of one another to achieve their agendas are part and parcel of the game. And please don’t tell me that Man U needs to be sympathised in this transfer saga. Madrid lacks grace and decorum, but Man U are not saint either. I fail to see how a club who had resorted to declare interest purely to unsettle the key player (Benzema) of its opponent just before a key CL clash can call itself a victim in this instance.
Temasek
It can be brave to put your hand up with a contrary view when the tide is going against you Temasek. But if it is one sincerely held then you are right to do so. I think though that in seeking a more 'corporate' way for clubs to do business you are seeking to solve a 'problem' that isn't really there. The players enjoy the present system. It has made them rich and powerful beyond imagination. They aren't the only beneficiaries but most would not want the system to change to their disadvantage because the value is partially in their willingness to commit. The value in investing in footballing academies and training players is in the belief that you will be able to retain them and get some payback for your investment. A 'corporate' employment process wouldn't work in the military who often have to commit for periods of 6 or 12 years because the 'employer' needs the commitment to achieve the objective. The same goes for professional football if you want the standard to be high enough to warrant broadcasting live over international cable networks. You and I may rue the effects of money on the game but there is no slavery and no employment disadvantage to a young man who can retire by the time he is 30 without ever having to worry about earning a living again.
Amos.
Trust me I have seen some poverty since I have been in the US. To me since you have been exposed to all of this, it would seem that you would not in any way defend it, I really dont understand where you are coming from, but we can agree to disagree. Are you syaing that people now do not respect the contracts they sign, and every year there is instability during the offseason but when there is no contracts it will become more stable? I'm confused. Contracts is a way in sports world wide and now all of sudden there is a problem? Only in football have I seen this blatent disregard, so the problem lies with the Giverning bodies/players/agents and not with the contracts. Football players willingly sign contracts, saying they will render a service for a specific period of time, they are not legally owned as a slave would be, they can retire or quit whenever they feel like or can even request a transfer, they also do not have to (are not forced) to sign the contract. I'm trying but I just cant see it from your point of veiw.
Paulsito
Only footballers are held to such high standards. Let's face it, anyone of you could quit your job and move to Madrid tomorrow because you all don't have a contract enslaving you to a Club. If you decide tomorrow that you're sick of your city/climate/female companions/flat you have the financial stability and freedom to do something about it. This is not however a basic right which we give to footballers. We have an unrealistic expectation for them to actual lifestyle sacrifices for a laughable £100k a week. Shame on us.
rslack
 

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