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Another Twente Questions

The new season is upon us and the time is right for....dancing in the street? Maybe. But whilst you find yourself some dancing shoes and do your make up in the mirror whilst singing into your hairbrush, chow down on the first edition of the season. One per club this week.

1. How long until all footballers over the age of twenty one collectively sue Arsene Wenger for age discrimination?

2. Can Martin O'Neill make it through one press conference without moaning about Gareth Barry?

3. Can Paul Ince make the jump from League Two to the Premiership, or will he be the managerial equivalent of Jon Stead?

4. Can Kevin Davies make four consecutive minutes this season without smashing someone with his elbows?

5. Will Abramovich keep his oar out and let Scolari do his job?

6. Did Moyes keep a straight face when he mugged Fulham for 11m for Andy Johnson?

7. Andy Johnson. 11m. What for?

8. Are Hull City on course to take Derby's lowest points record?

9. Will Fernando Torres ever score away from Anfield?

10. Are Manchester City trying to wrest Newcastle's crown of 'football club most likely to be the subject of a soap opera' crown?

11. Will Ronaldo be able to hit the heights of last season, or will he be distracted by the mirrors he will undoubtedly have installed in his boots?

12. Can Middlesbrough please get relegated already so I don't have to visit that horrible football ground anymore? Seriously, the place makes me want to end myself.

13. Is Joey Barton capable of going three weeks without trying to inflict permanent scarring on somebody?

14. With Peter Crouch now signed, can Pompey resist the temptation to become the South Coast's answer to Bolton Wanderers?

15. Are Stoke relieved that, with Hull City also promoted, they are not likely to finish bottom?

16. Will Kenwyne Jones be able to reassume his form of early last season?

17. Which hotel chain will be to blame when Tottenham Hotspur inevitably fail to finish fourth again?

18. Will West Brom's cavalier football pay dividends in the top flight?

19. Is Alan Curbishley capable of putting together anything approaching an unbeaten run after safety is assured?

20. Will Wigan do anything remotely interesting this season?LD




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The Journalist

Writer: Tim Stillman Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday August 15 2008

Time: 5:16PM

Your Comments

23. Doesn't Fat Sam's Bolton look technically superior to Megson's or is it just me?
G4L
21. Have scientists uncovered the hideout of the giant slug that passed over the Wigan pitch last season?
G4L
22. If Fulham were mugged re- AJ, what can one say re Blackburn's acquisition of Paul "The Zagreb Mole" Robinson?
G4L
24. Although the competition is stark (Hull Stoke West Brom Boro Fulham), will the Wanderers finally release us from our misery and wander off where they belong (the Championship)?
G4L
25. Does Moyes all of a sudden have something against Gravesen lookalikes?
G4L
26. Isn't Mark Schwarzer an embodiment of 'ambition'?
G4L
27. After allowing roughly 20+ players to fulfill their "dream of playing in front of the Kop", is Benitez actually Santa Claus in disguise?
G4L
I guess I should stop for now.
G4L
28. Is G4L trying to put LD out of a job?
Aamir
29 Has Keegans new defensive signing Fabricio Coloccini been purchased solely for the mutual love of a bubble perm?
nikolaijns
An off topic questoin: After 60 mins it's Bayern 2-2 Hamburg (1 penalty apiece), will Martin Jol end Bayern's unbeaten home run of 18 games in the Bundesliga? Very entertaining game so far, hitting the post, conceding penalties, great runs, great goals, you name it. Not too late to start watching now.
Lou the Gunneress
what will arse excues this time when they win nothing again
123spurs
will this be cesc last season for arsenal
123spurs
30. Does "top 4" in spud terminology mean that they can actually go for THIRD?
G4L
Will 123 learn the numbers 4,5,6 before st totts day?
iceman10
31 - What type of food will give the underachievers from *****efartlane the squits this seson?
LondonGooner
32 - What will be the date of this season St Totteringhams day? And can it be possibly earlier than last season?
LondonGooner
 

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