Vital Football

Latest Arsenal FC News

Vital Arsenal Make First Summer Signing

Vital Arsenal Make First Summer Signing

Editor's note: As with most football clubs, the summer is a time to bring in new blood and freshen things up a bit, and at it's no different at Vital Arsenal.

This year we've decided to take a young man on trial who goes by the name of Tristan, who, in his own words, will bring us his 'unwanted opinions' each week.

As with any debutant, don't expect him to play a full 90 minutes and grab a hat-trick ... oh no ... this is Tristan's 90th minute substitue appearence where he can offer us the briefest of glimpse of his hilarious talents.


-------

Y'alreet Vital Arsenal,

I'm Tristan, I'm new and I've been given permission to write down my useless thoughts and opinions on the broad subject of football by the kind people who run this site.

I will try to deliver cutting edge articles in the style of other footballing gurus such as Garth Crooks, but hopefully they will be somewhat less tedious and won't consist of laboured and drawn out points that go on and on and on and don't really address anything slightly insightful, just go on and on, repeating themselves, whilst people weep & quote Garth! Make it stop man! I need some air, I can't cope with all this amount of tedium, my ears are bleeding, please I beg you, stop! but then ignore them and go on and on and on before reaching a conclusion that has no relevance to what I'd just said. I often enjoy bagels.

Arsenal news now and Asterix The Gaul lookalike, Stan Kroenke, has increased his stake in the club to 28.5% in his ongoing power struggle with Uzbekistani oligarch Alisher Usmanov, meaning Gunners fans will either have to make do with a fictional rebellious Gaul or a man who looks like the lovechild of a helium inflated Droopy the Dog and that fat prick Chris Moyles.

Right that's yer lot for today!

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



For the very latest Premier League odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tristan's Unwanted Opinions
Date:Saturday July 11 2009
Time: 5:08PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Welcome Tristan! :)
GoonerLou
11/07/2009 17:21:00
0
tristan, i like u already
akenyangunner
11/07/2009 17:22:00
0
Good luck fella, welcome to ArsenalMad. Actually, what am I talking about, you won't need much luck looking good around this lot....! ;o)
LondonGooner
11/07/2009 23:56:00
0
You are spot on about Chris Moyles. If I were you, I wouldn't go over the top on Stan Kroenke. One day he will be the owner of our beloved club, then shut this site down and kick your throat in !
Cockney Rich
12/07/2009 08:07:00
0
Welcome Tristan, hope to enjoy yourself with us!
hackneyval
12/07/2009 15:45:00
0
Well he can't be any worse than what we've got, i.e. an American, A Northerner, A woman and 24 year old up his own backside all the time....mind you, what sort of name is Tristan?...do you collect stamps?
Orange Quadrant
13/07/2009 12:37:00
0
OQ it's so blatent you're a spud I'd just give up now if I were you. With those opinions, why would you still be reading this site if you were a gooner. Actually, don't answer that, just log out and get on with your life.
ArsenalRob
13/07/2009 14:06:00
0
OQ you're a knob mate, shut up and go away!
LondonGooner
13/07/2009 16:28:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Arsenal Articles

Congratulations Leicester City

The Foxes are Premier League Champions

Who Will Arsenal Face In 2016/17 (3/5/16)

With less than a handful of games remaining in the 2015/16 campaign, some promotions and relegations in the football pyramid are already known.

Wenger Comments On Fan Protests

Arsenal manager speaks about a tough weekend

That Was Tough To Watch

Arsene on the receiving end of fans wrath

Archived Vital Arsenal Articles

Vital Arsenal articles from

Site Journalists

Rocky7
Editor email
Profile
ClockEnd124
no email
Profile
Amos
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Is it time for Wenger to go?
Suggested By:
Yes73%
No23%
In The Summer4%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 36 22 11 3 77 30
2 Spurs 36 19 13 4 70 39
3 Arsenal 36 19 10 7 67 25
4 Man City 36 19 7 10 64 30
5 Man Utd 35 17 9 9 60 12
6 West Ham 35 15 14 6 59 17
7 Southampton 36 16 9 11 57 14
8 Liverpool 35 15 10 10 55 11
9 Chelsea 35 12 12 11 48 7
10 Stoke 36 13 9 14 48 -14
11 Everton 35 10 14 11 44 6
12 Watford 35 12 8 15 44 -6
13 Swansea 36 11 10 15 43 -13
14 WBA 36 10 11 15 41 -14
15 AFC Bournemouth 36 11 8 17 41 -20
16 Crystal Palace 36 10 9 17 39 -10
17 Newcastle 36 8 9 19 33 -25
18 Sunderland 35 7 11 17 32 -18
19 Norwich 35 8 7 20 31 -26
R Aston Villa 36 3 7 26 16 -45
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Arsenal Results (view all)

Arsenal Fixtures (view all)

May 8 2016 4:00PM : Manchester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
May 15 2016 3:00PM : Aston Villa (H)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Wyn Mills5
2.Amos.4
3.Galway Gooner4
4.NYArse1
5.Naijagunner1
6.Leon Kingsford1