UK time is: 06:55:29
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Vital Arsenal Make First Summer Signing

Editor's note: As with most football clubs, the summer is a time to bring in new blood and freshen things up a bit, and at it's no different at Vital Arsenal.

This year we've decided to take a young man on trial who goes by the name of Tristan, who, in his own words, will bring us his 'unwanted opinions' each week.

As with any debutant, don't expect him to play a full 90 minutes and grab a hat-trick ... oh no ... this is Tristan's 90th minute substitue appearence where he can offer us the briefest of glimpse of his hilarious talents.


-------

Y'alreet Vital Arsenal,

I'm Tristan, I'm new and I've been given permission to write down my useless thoughts and opinions on the broad subject of football by the kind people who run this site.

I will try to deliver cutting edge articles in the style of other footballing gurus such as Garth Crooks, but hopefully they will be somewhat less tedious and won't consist of laboured and drawn out points that go on and on and on and don't really address anything slightly insightful, just go on and on, repeating themselves, whilst people weep & quote Garth! Make it stop man! I need some air, I can't cope with all this amount of tedium, my ears are bleeding, please I beg you, stop! but then ignore them and go on and on and on before reaching a conclusion that has no relevance to what I'd just said. I often enjoy bagels.

Arsenal news now and Asterix The Gaul lookalike, Stan Kroenke, has increased his stake in the club to 28.5% in his ongoing power struggle with Uzbekistani oligarch Alisher Usmanov, meaning Gunners fans will either have to make do with a fictional rebellious Gaul or a man who looks like the lovechild of a helium inflated Droopy the Dog and that fat prick Chris Moyles.

Right that's yer lot for today!




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



For the very latest Premier League odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Tristan's Unwanted Opinions Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Saturday July 11 2009

Time: 5:08PM

Your Comments

Welcome Tristan! :)
GoonerLou
tristan, i like u already
akenyangunner
Good luck fella, welcome to ArsenalMad. Actually, what am I talking about, you won't need much luck looking good around this lot....! ;o)
LondonGooner
You are spot on about Chris Moyles. If I were you, I wouldn't go over the top on Stan Kroenke. One day he will be the owner of our beloved club, then shut this site down and kick your throat in !
Cockney Rich
Welcome Tristan, hope to enjoy yourself with us!
hackneyval
Well he can't be any worse than what we've got, i.e. an American, A Northerner, A woman and 24 year old up his own backside all the time....mind you, what sort of name is Tristan?...do you collect stamps?
Orange Quadrant
OQ it's so blatent you're a spud I'd just give up now if I were you. With those opinions, why would you still be reading this site if you were a gooner. Actually, don't answer that, just log out and get on with your life.
ArsenalRob
OQ you're a knob mate, shut up and go away!
LondonGooner
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Arsenal Articles

No Champions League Turkish Delight (Wednesday August 20 2014)

Besiktas v Arsenal Match Preview (Tuesday August 19 2014)

Match Discussion - Besiktas (a) (Monday August 18 2014)

Arsenal v Crystal Palace (Sunday August 17 2014)

Team News: Arsenal vs Palace - 3 Debuts (Saturday August 16 2014)

Arsenal v Crystal Palace Match Preview (Saturday August 16 2014)

Arsene's Surprise As Pulis Runs Away (Friday August 15 2014)

Diaby's Last Dance? (Thursday August 14 2014)

Archived Arsenal Articles

List All Vital Arsenal Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Naijagunner 65
2. Chippy Brady 50
3. Amos. 46
4. Rocky7 21
5. Galway Gooner 18
6. NYArse 14
7. Deltaforce 14
8. nikolaijns 13
9. gunnerman76 12
10. Guyfox 12

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Arsenal 2 - 1 Crystal Palace

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 1 1 0 0 +2 3
2. Man City 1 1 0 0 +2 3
3. Arsenal 1 1 0 0 +1 3
4. Liverpool 1 1 0 0 +1 3
5. Swansea 1 1 0 0 +1 3
6. Aston Villa 1 1 0 0 +1 3
7. Hull City 1 1 0 0 +1 3

Breaking League News

Santon Injury Blow
Newcastle : 21/08/2014 23:18:00
de Jong Expected To Make Debut
Newcastle : 21/08/2014 23:11:00
Hull City : 21/08/2014 21:53:00
Hammers seek Belgian Defender
West Ham : 21/08/2014 18:40:00
What if we bought Pogba?
Chelsea : 21/08/2014 18:30:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

MOTM vs Palace
Suggested By:  
Szczesny 6%
Debuchy 5%
Koscielny 33%
Chambers 41%
Gibbs 0%
Arteta 0%
Rambo 8%
Wilshere 2%
Sanchez 5%
Cazorla 0%
Sanogo 0%
Monreal 0%
Giroud 0%
The Ox 0%