Diary Of A Gooner - Bottom Of The League?

Hello my fellow gooners, this week I have drifted from my usual musings on all things Arsenal and turned my focus to the team I actually play for, the mighty Sevitt FC from the metropolis of Bettystown, Meath, on the east coast of Ireland. Like so many of you out there, I not only like to be a follower, but equally pull on a jersey and pretend that when I kick the ball, it has performed the exact task that I had originally intended and that in fact, I am the wizard of dribble! I am of course a hopeless case. I play left full (although I am entirely right footed!!) and am pretty much convinced that they give me a game every week because my mam must have written to them and told them what a good boy I am. Despite the crapness of pretty much everything, from the players, to the pitches, to the changing 'facilities', to the total insanity of amateur league referee's (come back Mike Dean - all is forgiven) . . . . . . I bloody love it! Pulling on my kit every week, lacing up the boots and launching head long into the most mind-bendingly stupid tackles is indeed one of the finest ways to spend a Sunday morning. I say again - I bloody love it!

Having said all of that, my experience in playing football has only confirmed my long held (if not particularly original) view that football at any level, attracts the biggest idiots to have ever been dropped on their heads as babies. Whining, bottom feeding prima-donna's who believe that the soles of the feet should be French kissed for the very fact that they have lowered themselves to engage in play with mere mortals. And worse again are those who show up simply to moan and gripe regardless of any actual natural ability.

Believe it or not, there are other sports I play a lot better than football. I am getting back into my tennis and that's a game I have always been able to play to a reasonable standard. The reason I play football and love to play football is down to the satisfaction derived from achieving something as a team. We have a couple of players who, regardless of their quality, so not seem to enjoy playing. Their sole purpose in coming down every week is to be miserable bastards and to take every opportunity to engage in negative rants at their 'team mates'.

If amateur football teams are about anything, they are surely about camaraderie, about enjoying each others company and all pulling in the same direction. Without trying to psycho-analyze it too much I feel that there are those among us who use the team as a means to vent feelings and frustrations which are not directly related to the team itself, but are rather part of unhappinesses which have their root elsewhere in their lives.

To a certain extent there is nothing wrong with this, physical contact sport is a great means to release pent up tension that cannot otherwise (or legally) be released in the ebb and flow of your personal or professional lives. I am not talking about coming down on a Sunday to simply kick all around you, but a reasonable amount of controlled aggression most definitely has a home within the sport. Hence the satisfaction we experience when we engage in a strong successful tackle. That is the game, that is why we play. What is unacceptable is where the attitude is 'this is my own personal space to be a negative bastard because I wouldn't get away with doing it in the rest of my life'.

The football team is not a tool for emotional masturbation or self-indulgence, we are a TEAM and those who see their own self interests as being above the common goals of the team, have no place in it. If your goal is simply to use the football club as your own weekly therapy session, then may I suggest buying a punching bag, having a wank, converting to Buddhism, running with the bulls in Pamploma or better yet, actually go and get yourself a therapist (if you feel embarrassed about it you can pretend you are Tony Soprano).

For my part I hate losing, I am very competitive and or course I would love to be top of the league, but I would rather lose every week as a team than win with a bunch of whining maggots who think they are above the rest of us insects.

Is this your experience my friends or have I simply stumbled upon a tribe of un-evolved social miscreants? I would love to hear from those of you who play for a team as to whether you feel the same pain or am I simply turning into one of these unhappy chappies myself? Perish the thought!

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