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Barca risk screwing themselves

Barcelona's actions are embarrassing to their club. The continuous procession of players and club officials announcing their desire to get Fabregas into their bed is beginning to make them appear disturbingly obsessive. Xavi is the latest player to get in on the act. It`s a psychological flaw they need to seek help with. More and more their club is beginning to look like a nerdy stalker in a dirty raincoat, or a slutty groupie following Cesc around.

With a compliant press ever eager to look for any encouragement to invent a story their increasingly desperate pleadings have a ready ear. But it has gone on so long that Cesc has mastered the art of pretty instant denials and his response to Xavi`s love letter was marked 'return to sender` and mailed back very quickly.

"It doesn't upset me what Xavi says, not at all. It is very flattering from a great player like Xavi," said Cesc with practiced diplomacy as he continued

"I am the captain of Arsenal and I have a job to do here. Everyone has their own life and you do what you feel is better for you.

"Being at Arsenal is the best thing for me at the moment. I want to win things here and I'm very comfortable with Arsenal.

"I love London, it's a great city, it's like my house, it's really good. It is very important for a player to feel at home and I feel like that."

The chances of Barcelona getting Cesc one day are probably a good bit better than Adebayors chances of pulling Beyonce but their classless posturing risks spoiling any potential future consummation if infatuation doesn't ultimately fade as it is prone to do.

In lovemaking things can happen too soon, timing is important if all parties are to be satisfied. So Barcelona will just have to wait to be screwed. In the meantime taking up a position more likely to be found in the centre pages of a porno magazine doesn`t make them any more attractive. It might appear to help make things happen quicker but that's often with only one party present.

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The Journalist

Writer: Amos Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 2 2009

Time: 12:15PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
it's getting annoying but nothing barca do will ever risk spoiling this move because sooner or later it will definitely happen.
dwight schrute
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02/10/2009 12:22:00

A nicely writte piece Amos, but if Barca are screwing themselves or not, Cesc will still join them. I would not blame the young man for wanting to return home, he's been away for 6 years now. I think that next season will be his last with us, which really saddens me, but preparing for the reality of it will soften the blow.
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02/10/2009 12:49:00

There's an inevitability that all players will go sometime. The trick is for us to time it when it suits us and to get the most out of it. There are very few players that are truly indispensable and most are replaced more easily than we sometimes imagine. What is silly about all this is that if it is going to happen there is no need for Barca to say or do anything. It just makes them look so cringe makingly desperate.
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02/10/2009 12:53:00

You are spot on Amos, they do seem increasingly desperate. All they are doing is laying down a " we love you Cesc " marker for when Real Madrid show their hand.
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02/10/2009 13:00:00

I think Arsene needs to be looking for a replacement to Cesc now, as I believe that he will be gone within the next couple of seasons. Actually, Id be surprised if he wasnt already doing so, possibly looking at Nasri or Arshavin as the creator. But if we can hang on to Cesc for at least two seasons, Wilshere could be the perfect replacement provided we can hang on to him as well. Its not all doom and gloom.
Sir Henry
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02/10/2009 13:44:00

Although he says all the right 'generic' comments in interviews you get the sense his heads already been turned and it's only a matter of time. What you have got going for you though is Barca's perplexing desparation (considering Xavi and Iniesta are the best 2 ACM's in the world imo) which means you could probably name your price.
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02/10/2009 13:50:00

Amos, your prolonged sex metaphor for Barca and Cesc was a hilarious way to start a slow Friday morning, thank you. :-D What I don't understand is the assumption that Cesc will just stroll right into Barca's first team as a regular starter right now. Certainly in a few years that will be the case (I also assume he'll return there) but not now. Xavi and Iniesta control Barca's playmaking in midfield and look to do that for some time to come. Cesc would start maybe some domestic cup games, or replace one of them when they're injured. At Arsenal he's the captain, a regular starter, the principle playmaker. He dictates our game, he's our "thinker" (to use an Argentine term for a playmaker). Right now that just wouldn't be the case at Barca. I was surprised to hear Xavi make those comments, he's not known for public statements like that. it's like La Porta's urging his players to all come out publicly and unsettle Cesc. I guess Barca have never forgiven Arsene for taking Cesc and they're getting a little revenge.
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02/10/2009 14:19:00

BTW, did you guys read these wonderful quotes from Cesc about Arsene? Got me all choked up. On a totally separate topic, I just watched Arsene's latest interview on the official site and--contrary to what he said in his last press conference--it looks like Almunia is still "doubtful" for Blackburn. This is the longest "chest infection" I've ever heard of.
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02/10/2009 14:24:00

lol about Ade's chances with Beyonce! I think Wilshere is the replacement...
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02/10/2009 15:11:00

How do you say 'yawn' in Catalan/Spanish? Bostezo!!
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02/10/2009 15:52:00

will you boo him when he finally says i want out?
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02/10/2009 16:00:00

No we'll simply congratulate ourselves on how much we got for him and then buy someone better. We didn't boo Henry when he left. Pires wouldn't sign a new contract but got a standing ovation when he returned in a CL game last season. Edu is still regarded with some affection. Toure got a cheer from the travelling gooner support at Eastlands and could always expect a welcome at the Emirates. Any former player who has earned respect invariably gets it. Those who haven't earned any won't get any.
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02/10/2009 16:10:00

Blimey Amos, I seriously feel like I need a bath after reading that!
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02/10/2009 16:20:00

Cesc will wanna leave at some point, and as long as he does it with dignity and respect (which he will) then i'll hold absolutely no grudges. Just earn us a few league titles in between mate.
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02/10/2009 16:23:00

Yeah it is all a bit sleazy and sordid isn't it. Barca should have more class.
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02/10/2009 16:23:00

WOW! No need for that talk Amos.
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02/10/2009 16:32:00

Excellent response, Amos, to another Arsenal-obsessed Man City fan.
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02/10/2009 17:41:00

Amos - i'm not sure how easy it will be to "buy someone better" I think once Cesc goes things will be a little whack for a while. I think as of late he's been quite underapreciated in exactly how much he does for us. He's pretty much the foundation of our attacking forefront. At 22 he's our longest serving player and our leader! He's an ab*****e superstar and i for one will miss him greatly, as i think the Arsenal team will come the day he leaves. Dont get me wrong, i'm not trying to say there's no life-after-cesc, i just don't think we expect so much from him at times he gets quite easily looked over. In a club overflowing with talent, i think he is the most talented. As for the *****-city fan, Amos just made you look like the total *****er you are :)
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03/10/2009 07:32:00

"i just don't think we expect so much from him at times" i supposed to be "i just think we expect so much from him at times" forgot the "don't" part of it :P Also why on earth was a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e blanked out?
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03/10/2009 07:35:00

Oh wow, i'm i just read my post that was supposed to be the correction of my first post and its got multiple mistakes. I fkn give up! ...totaly no evan reedig this wun/
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03/10/2009 07:38:00

I like the points made above, I guess because we have not won any thing in a while we all seem to forget our multi-talented a team we have. IMO I feel that Rosicky, Nasri or even Merrida can be moulded into a role that would suit whatever the resulting team would be. These crop of players are so skilful and at ease with the ball that they will cope maybe after a few games. Fabregas was out for a few games last season and we coped though with difficulty.
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03/10/2009 08:41:00

Andy-bayor - time to change the name methinks. Or your club :-) You certainly can't replace players like Cesc easily, he has the unique way of making the game look so easy, whether he's being harried on the ball and doesn't lose it, or by nearly always playing the right pass at the right time, other players (anywhere, not just at Arsenal) just don't have that ability. It does seem like a trait that Barca produce in their players.
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03/10/2009 09:25:00

Without difficulty? We struggled to score goals massively.
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03/10/2009 09:26:00

I think Ramsey is the player I can see filling the Cesc role should he ever leave. I'm going to be optimistic anyway and hope stays at Arsenal for a long time. He seems comepletely settled at Arsenal even if we're not winning things, the comments about him leaving are mainly the media having nothing else to write about.
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03/10/2009 09:37:00

Wilshere is likely to replace him to be honest. Not directly, because he is possibly more comparable to Arshavin or Hleb, but Wenger said he is going to be a central player in the future.
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03/10/2009 11:49:00

What about merida? Not much chance of him going back to barca
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03/10/2009 13:31:00

Cesc will head out when a substantial bid comes in no question. If Arsenal remain trophyless for the next two years, he'll leave and Sh (1)tty will attract better players than you will.
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03/10/2009 13:47:00

Winning trophies doesn't guarantee a player will stay if a substantial bid comes in - just ask Cristiano Ronaldo. And did you have in mind City attracting Tevez while United could only pick up Valencia perhaps?
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03/10/2009 14:14:00

lol Amos you've been on top form!
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03/10/2009 14:28:00 - check out our interview with Mr Stillman on Vital Blackburn ahead of tomorrows game.
Mikey Delap
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03/10/2009 17:16:00

I figure his replacements are already being groomed in the form of ramsey and wiltshire ;and the latter has that fearlessness that cesc had at the same age. I suspect cesc will leave in a respective manner in about 2-3 seasons
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04/10/2009 01:49:00


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