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Update #3: Deadline Day Over-reaction Thread

With a little under 7 hours until the transfer window slams shut for another 4 months, chaos reigns on the Internet, whilst smug-faced mobile phone wielding tossers pretend to be in know sit talking bollocks on various news channels (and sometimes it actually leads to punditry jobs, seriously, how that twat Andy Burton is still being allowed on our televisions is beyond me).

I know many of us would rather hide our heads under our pillows and wait till it all blows over, but we're not all the same and some people enjoy the drama of deadline day, indeed, in years gone by I've worn out many an F5 key whilst sat waiting for news of a new player, so I've created this thread for all you 'F5ers' out there.

I'll try my best to keep this article updated with any news that comes our way, however flimsy it may appear to be, and then if we get any official confirmation I'll post another article to welcome our new boy or say goodbye to an old one.

In early news, Mark Schwarzer is still hopeful of a move to Arsenal, indeed reports have been made of Arsenal making a final offer of £4 Million.

Vital Arsenal understands (for 'understands' read, 'saw on a dodgy website') that Armand Traore has completed a loan move to Italy's Old Lady, Juventus.

Whilst in semi-Arsenal related news that nobody in the world actually gives a shit about, Mikel Silvestre has signed for Werder Bremen. The only slightly interesting thing about this transfer is that he will now face T*ttenham in the Champions League. Let's hope old 50 pence head can bag himself a goal .... can't be that difficult can it?

Ok, so that's it for now ..... Stay tuned on this most dramatic of TRANSFER DEADLINE DAYS!!!

Der Der, Der Der Der!!!!

BREAKING NEWS: DUM DUM DUM DUM!!!! News coming through to us here at Vital Arsenal that Birminham City are looking to take Arsenal left back Armand Traore on loan, that's even after Vital Arsenal undestandered ..... understooded .... understanderooded ..... read on a dodgy website that, that he'd already tied up a loan move to Juventus.

BREAKING NEWS: Some complete bollocks filtering through to us now is that Arsenal will make a last gasp attempt to sign Lyon's Hugo Lloris by offering the French giants £14 Million, Manuel Almunia and a packet of pork scratchings.

More testies to follow.

BORING NEWS: Arsene Wenger has been scuppered in his attempts to land Fulham pensioner, Mark Schwarzer after The Cottagers (New nickname needed, seriously Fulham, look it up on Urban Dictionary or something) claim the big Austrailian was staying put.

Arsene Wenger was unavailable for comment, but shouts of "F**KING GET IN THERE" could be heard coming from Tim Stillman's flat.




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The Journalist

Writer: Rocky7 Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Tuesday August 31 2010

Time: 11:08AM

Your Comments

My cousin's mate's history teacher swears he saw the reincarnation of a 25 year old Cliff Bastin at Arsenal's training ground in this dream he had last night. You heard it here first!
Little Dutch
If Arsenal have really bid £4m for an ageing keeper who wasn't all that much even in his pomp and won't be with us more than a year then they will be among the first to have over-reacted.
Amos.
Yeah £4 million sounds very unlikely, especially for a keeper with only 1 year left on his contract.
Rocky7
Adebayor has just been spotted on his hands and knees crawling up the drive to London Colney. A little further behind him is Alexander Hleb.
Cockney Rich
The 1 year left on Schwartzers contract is almost irrelevant becasue of his age. He's probably got about 2 "good" years left in him anyway which is the real reason you should stear clear
Phartman87
Alex Hleb - from Barcelona to Birmingham. Good work Alex!
Gooner_Vin
Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, £10.5m to Schalke. Bargain. I always thought that he was well worth a punt if we had the money.
Cockney Rich
Sorry to be a pessimist but I dont see any last minute transfers going through unless Fulham suddenly decide to accept £2 million quid for Schwarzer. Heard about the Lloris to Arsenal rumour but Lyon are notoriously dicky over their transfer dealings so would be extremely surprised if this went through in such sort space of time. Also heard that Adebarndoor could be on his way to the Spurs :-o. I am also now hearing from my mate's cousin's uncle's doctor that Lucio is apparently at the Emirates having a medical ;-)
True-Gooner-Blood
As ive stated a few times, I think Schwarzer is well above average, and was far superior to Almunia prior to his last season, but that doesn't mean he can't be one of the top three 'keepers in the League again.
Tom14
"Adebayor has just been spotted on his hands and knees crawling up the drive to London Colney. A little further behind him is Alexander Hleb." - brilliant
G4L
Schwarzer - one of the top 3 keepers in the league? - again? Which league was that? He'll be a few weeks short of his 39th birthday by the time next season starts - realistically he isn't really going to improve is he.
Amos.
I would say Sylvestre signing for Bremen is actually a boost to Spu*s chances.......
LondonGooner
Forget GK's, i'd rather sign the pair of "strikers" at the top of this article!
LondonGooner
I wouldn't regard the assertion that we won't sign Schwarzer as "pessimistic" at all. Quite the opposite actually!
Little Dutch
LG - I felt there needed to be something worth looking at in this article.
Rocky7
The reason that we've been after Schwarzer is not as a permanent solution but as a temporary one while Szesny-however-it's-spelled gets more experience, according to various bloggers and journos on twitter anyway. It looked like we were definitely getting Schwarzer, esp. after he forced a move and we did raise our bid but things have changed since Stockdale at Fulham got injured and the Given-to-Fulham deal didn't go thru. And there was never any indication that AW ever made any serious efforts to get Given anyway (I really don't think AW rates him). Apparently Given chose money over first team football and so will probably stay at City to "fight for his place." So at the moment the Schwarzer deal looks dead, primarily because of the Stockdale injury and the lack of serious alternatives for Fulham to replace either keeper. Whatever the case, I can't be complacent about this like you guys. Goalkeeper is our most vulnerable position and no team wins trophies (esp. league titles, cup trophies are arguable) without a top class keeper. We don't have one. I think it ludicrous that AW has not resolved this gaping hole we have in the squad. We will win nothing with Almunia in goal. Yes he had a good game v. Blackburn, he often has good games. But he won't win us any titles.
jaelle
Oh - and wtf did Eidur Gudjohnsen ever do to deserve Stoke?
jaelle
Brilliant post jaelle, yet again. I COMPLETELY agree with your view on Almunia. I only really want Schwarzer to sign as it will probably mean that I never have to see Fabianski this season. I really do think that to have a choice of Almunia or Schwarzer for our No.1 Gk, is frightening. We have so much wonderful talent all over the pitch at Arsenal, except in goal. That situation is not likely to change until Szczesny is ' ready '.
Cockney Rich
Amos, you clearly didn't pay much attention to his 08/09 season where he was magnificent. The deal is off anyway, im quite happy with Almunia to be honest.
Tom14
I'd like us to sign a good keeper, but I don't think Schwarzer qualifies. I think Almunia is better than him, so I'm not gonna cry any tears if we don't sign a reserve keeper. Obviously, I'd rather have a better reserve goalie than the one we have, but it's not something I'll ***** my pants over just yet.
Little Dutch
LG - I felt there needed to be something worth looking at in this article. Rocky7 --- There's an article?! :o)
LondonGooner
Speaking of our keepers...England are or were training at Colney today and Capello invited our reserves keeper James Shea over to train with them (while AW watched). Foster and Carson weren't there.
jaelle
Broadly, Schwarzer is better than Almunia in claiming corners and high balls while the latter is far superior as a shot stopper. Almunia seems to have worked on commanding his area though and seems to have improved his decision making in coming off the line. Not a huge loss that Schwarzer is not coming. To make a real difference to our squad someone of the quality of Cech, VDS or Julio Cesar was required anyway.
Deltaforce
I did miss Schwarzers magnificence in the 2008-2009 season I'm afraid Tom - I suspect I had some difficulty in spotting him behind the massive defensive wall Fulham put around their goal at the time.
Amos.
....and Bouba Diop in front of that wall !
Cockney Rich
I believe Szczesny is ready..I mean..he played for Brentford for a lot of games last season..and played extremely good as well..what more do you want wenger? Try him against bolton.. Or you want try him on CC? Against Spud?? Or you won't even try him at all?
Malaysian_GunnerZ
LG - Technically .... no, there isn't. lol
Rocky7
boobs
Tom14
Come on Boss, sign us a keeper please!!!! I can't take much more of watching the other two flappers:(((((
julieloveshenry4ever
Fulham trying to sign Roma Keeper DONI, on loan...hmmmmm
julieloveshenry4ever
I don't for one minute believe Almunia is as bad as everyone is making out. I don't think he is good enough for a club with aspirations of winning the CL or PL, but we could do a lot worse. Schwarzer is no better or worse for my money he just had more defenders in front of him than Big Al last season and the season before.
LondonGooner
Robinho to Milan...Hmmmm, him and Pato could be a devastating strike force in Serie A if Milan decide to play Robinho in a striker role. A reunion of sorts there.
True-Gooner-Blood
Gyan to Sunderland. Good signing for them, liked what I saw of him in the WC, big and powerful. I guess that'll be it for the day.
Rocky7
I think LondonGooner is right. Let's not underestimate our lack of organisation and defensive nous as reasons why we haven't succeeded. It's not just the GK; rectifying how we defend will also go a long way. There's not a marked difference between Almunia and Schwarzer, and all GKs make mistakes.
Gooner_Vin
Schwarzer is a last gasp plug to try and bring confidence to a defence that has had deficiencies for some time. He is a good keeper but not necessarily better than Almunia, and our pursuit of him is based on the principle that a fresh face will help to lift the defensive gloom. If we are stuck with Almunia then I hope we aren’t having the same conversation at the end of a disappointing season declaring how badly we need a new keeper.
Sir Henry
LG - You don't believe "he is good enough for a club with aspirations of winning the CL or PL, but we could do a lot worse." You do realize we are a club realisitically trying to win the CL and PL so even you think he "is as bad as everyone is making out." If he's not good enough to backstop us to those 2 competitions then he needs to be replaced. I am truly unsure of your logic.
Bergkamp4Life
One positive of this entire day ..... those boobs are really nice.
Rocky7
Rocky your filthy mouth offends me.
paul_ownz
5 mins left and NO KEEPER. Deeply disappointing. Now we're stuck with a keeper who knows he isn't wanted and a back-up who simply is worse than useless. Feeling very gloomy after this day. The minute Fulham hired that pillock Hughes, I KNEW we were scuppered...
julieloveshenry4ever
Sir Henry, it's a cast-iron GUARANTEE that we will be having the same discussion about needing a new GK this time next year. Can't believe this wasn't sorted out first before anything else...
julieloveshenry4ever
Why blame Hughes? Fayed makes the decisions and Hodgson would have been in place when our first offer was declined. Schwarzer would only have been back up to Almunia anyway.
Amos.
And the window is now officially closed.
True-Gooner-Blood
Well look at it this way, if our goalies continue to be cack, we have January for AW to go out and sign a goalie. Of course the only downside is that we could drop some major points along the way between now and January especially if that clown Flappyhandski is between the sticks for any reason.
True-Gooner-Blood
Thank heavens for that! It's a little like the feeling you get when a neighbour lets his barking dog back into the house and the noise suddenly stops - for a while at least.
Amos.
AC Milan attack looks good with Pato, Ronaldinho and now Robinho & Ibrahimovic.
paul_ownz
Oh well. Back to the normality of not watching our team because of some annoying qualifiers.
Rocky7
In order for the January window to be any more fruitful than this one it would need a better keeper than Almunia to become available. The problem with this window was that there just weren't any. Things probably won't change greatly in January so next summer is the best opportunity. Unless Almunia has begun to convince people that he is much better than some think. If he has the confidence he could well do that - we could try to help him get it - but we'd have to find another whipping boy first.
Amos.
So we have to go another season with depending on these two no-hopers in goal. It beggars belief, it really does! They are simply not good enough to keep goal for Arsenal Football Club. Everyone in the top 8 has a better goalie than us. It's not right...
julieloveshenry4ever
And to stoke my ire further, apparently van der vaart is at the Lane.
julieloveshenry4ever
Jermaine Pennant and Eidur Gudjonssen have joined the Staffordshire scum apparently.
True-Gooner-Blood
No, Amos, no. AW had alternatives. He could've offered more than he did for a very very good keeper, Eduardo - who went to Genoa instead. He refused to raise his bid-Eduardo's better than Schwarzer, Given, Almunia. Eduardo was available, had an excellent wc, and lots of clubs were after him. But AW didn't want to spend the money. He could've tried for Akinfeev. But that would mean that AW would have to spend money - which he DOES have, btw. No, not Chelsea money but he does have money this summer to spend. I do not go on about spending loads of cash but the one position I do feel it necessary for a top club like Arsenal to spend real money on is a top class keeper. It's a key position. And because they're hard to get, it means a manager has to work damned hard to get him and be willing to spend the money to get him. The simple fact is that AW does not prioritize the position, he doesn't want to spend the needed money for the 1 or 2 he might well have gotten and he didn't have the determination to go out and get one for us. So why the hell should Cesc have stayed exactly? Look at the G14 clubs in Europe--none of them would want our keeper.
jaelle
There are other possibilities jaelle. Maybe Wenger simply doesn't think that Eduardo or Akinfeev are as good as you think they are? It isn't as though there were a cluster of top clubs chasing Eduardo's signature.
Amos.
CSKA would have probably wanted an obscene amount of money for Akinfeev too..
True-Gooner-Blood
Arsene just sent me an email. Apparently he wanted to stay out of the news for the day and has very quietly made 3 signings. Essien, Reina, and Messi will be unveiled Friday.
smithdj74
Arsene OUT- This man identified an issue at the end of last season, he said he was going to take care of it and now he ignores it because he waited to the last minute. I hope we will our next game with Bolton like 5-3 with Almunia conceding some horrible goals in the last 10mins of the game.
Arseniger
*we win
Arseniger
Why? Surely you'd hope that Almunia has an outstanding game and helps us keep a clean sheet?
Amos.
Wenger identified a need but apparently found no solution that would be an actual improvement. I, for one, am very happy Schwarzer is still at Fulham.
smithdj74
Woo hoo! Now we can all stop pretending that Schwarzer is a good keeper.
Little Dutch
Anybody else nervous about Sp*rs getting VDV?
Sajit
Nah, no chance of us catching it, we'd never hop into bed with them.
Little Dutch
Now that is funny. Thx for the laugh LD.
smithdj74
Lets just accept it. Lets get behind Almunia and give him the support he needs. I hope those that can attend the games will chant out his name to make him feel wanted again because whether we like it or not this is the way it is for now, and a confident, happy Almunia with the whole gooner community behind him may be enough. If we're on his back then we're to blame too. Show some love people =D
insider says
You can catch it by being forcibly taken up the Lane!
Clive 49
We can't catch it, we have the Verminator.
phreddy
Bergkamp4Life - My logic being that when it could be worse that could mean that we have Fabianski as first choice GK not Almunia. It's pretty simple mate.
LondonGooner
....and that is still a cracking set of Bristol's at the top of this article, nice!
LondonGooner
Jaelle, spot on. Wenger doesn’t have the energy to scout for a new keeper and I think it’s his Achilles heel. We’ve had several transfer windows to solve a problem that was identified a while ago and yet we go into another campaign with a hope and a prayer. Nevertheless, we have a fresh outfield defence now so (along with more focus on defending by the whole team) let’s hope we can keep the ball away from Almunia so that his weaknesses are not exposed too much.
Sir Henry
weget Van The Man and you lot still short of a good keeper. How many tranfer windows are you gonna let go before you put right you main problem. We even get a 3rd goalie on loan with experience for **** all.
COYS R US
And yet you lot cant finish above us. If EPL titles were won in the transfer window you would be a decent club. Reality bites.
Deltaforce
Its a long old season Deltaforce, watch out behind you.....gap getting ever smaller.....
HuddersfieldYiddo
Not last weekend it didn't HY!
Amos.
Cant fault your club's ambition HY. The difference in quality is in the players and the way they are coached though.
Deltaforce
 

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