Quotes of 2012
You know those seemingly countless, irritating articles you get named 'quotes of the year', essentially unoriginal rehashed clip shows s*at out of the arse of a lazy journalist for hits and to meet his article quota for the month? Yeah, well enjoy.
Dr. Andrew Deaner, "I understand you`re a very good footballer?"
Fabrice Muamba: "I try."
Fabrice Muamba comes round from surgery in March.
"Let`s go outside and have a man conversation."
Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin gets personal with a journalist.
"He plays like he`s being controlled by a ten year old on the Playstation."
Gary Neville on David Luiz.
"When I score, I don`t celebrate because it`s my job. Does a postman celebrate when he delivers a letter?"
"He was one of the worst players I have ever seen in a football match. He is a player like the others. Why can't we change the goalkeeper? Is the goalkeeper is an element who plays on with another team because he has a different colour on his shirt?"
Swindon boss Paulo di Canio throws a comforting arm around goalkeeper Wes Foderingham.
'My mum dated a guy from Liverpool. The Liverpool fans made up a song that she 'loves Scouse cock'' -
John Terry addresses the court.
'I've just watched the replay and there is absolutely no doubt: it's inconclusive.'
Garth Crooks getting about as lucid as Garth Crooks gets.
'They gave us four minutes [of stoppage time]. That's an insult to the game. It denies you a proper chance to win a football match.'
Alex Ferguson doesn`t take United`s 3-2 loss at home to Tottenham well.
'F**k off Benitez, you're not wanted here.'
Chelsea fans have a little cry because Benitez said some mean words about their plastic flags once.
"Mr Speaker, with the weight of the new evidence in this Report, it is right for me today as Prime Minister to make a proper apology to the families of the 96 for all they have suffered over the past 23 years.
"Indeed, the new evidence that we are presented with today makes clear that these families have suffered a double injustice.
The injustice of the appalling events — the failure of the state to protect their loved ones and the indefensible wait to get to the truth. And the injustice of the denigration of the deceased - that they were somehow at fault for their own deaths.
"On behalf of the Government - and indeed our country - I am profoundly sorry for this double injustice that has been left uncorrected for so long."
Prime Minister David Cameron responds to the Hillsborough inquiry.
"I don`t give a s**t, I`m going on holiday."
Zlatan Ibrahimovic responds to a reporter that asks him who Zlatan thinks will win Euro 2012 now that Sweden are out.
"If she was as nice as Rosie they have got a good wife"
Harry Redknapp is asked in the witness box about another HSBC Monaco account by the name of Rosie.
"Hart looked very confident with himself, so I thought we had to bring him down a peg or two.'
Andrea Pirlo on his Panenka penalty.
'If I could, I'd vote for myself. Being too humble isn't good. In Portugal, we say 'Too much humility is vanity'.'
Ronaldo proposes a rule change in the Ballon D`Or voting.
"Where were you when you were us?"
AFC Wimbledon fans give it both barrels to MK Dons supporters.
"Popov the Albion man,
He`s a big Macedonian,
He looks like a killer, he hates Aston Villa,
He`s Popov the Albion man, toot! Toot!"
Baggies fans serenade midfield enforcer Goran Popov to the tune of Popeye the Sailor Man.
"I could become a doctor!"
Abou Diaby reflects on the last five years of his career.
"Go f**k yourself, go f**k your mother you son of a bitch!"
Samir Nasri ingratiates himself with a French journalist at Euro 2012.
"Hahahahaa, well done #fa I lied did I, bunch of t***s?"
Ashley Cole launches his articulate, well thought out defence on twitter.
"If for him enjoying life means withdrawing from football for a while then so be it and I send him a hug."
Jose Mourinho bids Pep Guardiola farewell.
"We couldn`t defend a fish supper."
Sam Allardyce should know.
"Santi Cazorla? Who is he?"
Arsene Wenger goes public on his latest transfer target.
'When I joined Villa I didn't know where they played. I thought they were a London club!'
Christian Benteke introduces himself to brummies.
"Why for the life of me have the likes of Pirlo not played in England? Is he homophobic?'
To think Phil Brown is still looking for work….
'I haven't see it, but if Peter's got away with it then brilliant.'
Moral arbiter Tony Pulis responds to Peter Crouch`s handball, unseen by the officials, in the build up to his goal against Manchester City.
'When I went on TV after yesterday's game I hadn't see what had happened, but I did not conduct myself in a way befitting of a Liverpool manager during that interview and I'd like to apologise for that.'
Kenny Dalglish gets contrite.
"It's a nonsense players after games speaking about how great the supporters are. The supporters want to see the team do a lot better and not giving daft goals away. Praising the supporters for the sake of it. Let's change that attitude towards Irish supporters. Listen, they want to see the team winning. Let's not kid ourselves. We're a small country, and we're up against it, but let's not just go along for the sing-song now and again.'
Roy Keane as reserved as ever on Ireland`s Euro 2012 showing.
"By the FA's perverse reckoning, I'd have got less of a ban for racially abusing the Man City players than tickling them as I did. In what circumstance can that be right?' Joey Barton compares his 12 match ban for violent conduct with the punishment meted out to John Terry for using racial language.
"If you don`t want pressure, go and work in Banco do Brasil."
Luiz Felipe Scolari announces himself as Brazil`s manager. Again.
Will Hughes: "Not having all this hype about Jake Bugg. #average #dobetter"
Jake Bugg: "You play for Derby."
Derby youngster Will Hughes schooled on twitter by singer songwriter Jake Bugg.
'That hand gesture was to tell him he was scared. Look at my hairstyle, what I wear, I'm not a prejudice person, my hand gesture was in no way, shape or form a homophobic one.'
Raul Meireles carts out the famous "but my hair is gay!" defence amidst accusations of having made a homophobic remark to an opponent in Turkey.
"I`m not fat, I`m sex."
Manchester United midfielder Anderson clears that one up via his instagram account.
"They say he is a master in kung fu."
Arsene Wenger sounds rather like a mysterious Tebetan monk in a bad van Damme movie whilst considering Ibrahimovic`s bicycle kick against England.
'We have got through the first round and now it's our turn to, as they say in our country, dance with the ugliest - and that's Chelsea'
Monterrey coach Victor Manuel Vucetich sizes up Chelsea in the World Club Cup.
'I definitely like to think I had a little input. If we get to the final and you see crazy things happening with the ball, that's me.'
Bradford fan and "TV illusionist" Dynamo tries to take some credit for Bradford`s win over Arsenal. You could ask where in the name of Satan`s portion Dynamo has been for the last 12 years.
"He has got a massive ego."
Stewart Robson turns his kettle a dark shade of black when discussing Arsene Wenger.
"I`ve scored many goals for Arsenal. Tonight was my first one as a fan." Thierry Henry never needs encouragement to find the romance of a situation.