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'Arsenal, Watching Eastenders!'

This time last year Arsenal were preparing to take on the mighty Juventus, Oh what a difference a year makes.

With Arsenal making an unusually early exit from both Champions League and FA Cup, the rival supporters are left singing 'You're gunna win f**k all' and the even more amusing 'Arsenal, Watching Eastenders', so it is with this in mind that Vital Arsenal provides you with the ultimate tv viewing guide for the rest of the week.

Ok, so on Tuesday night instead of facing Liverpool for the 5th time this season, PSV take our place leaving us clutching the tv guide.

So what's on on Tuesday.


7.00 - 7.30 ITV - Emmerdale Farm
7.30 - 8.00 BBC1 - Eastenders
8.00 - 9.00 BBC1 - Holby City
9.00 - 10.00 ITV3+1 (What the fu**?) - The Bill


7.00 - 7.30 Paramount Comedy - Scrubs
7.30 - 8.00 SkyOne - The Simpsons
8.00 - 8.30 - UKGold+1 - Open All Hours
9.00 - 9.45 - BBC3 - F*ck Off I'm Ginger (yes it really is called that)
9.45 - 11.30 - Planes Trains & Automobiles

Any other Crap

7.00 - 7.30 Trouble+1 - Different Strokes (You remember this?)
7.30 -8.00 Hallmark - Diagnosis Murder
8.00 - 9.00 Bravo+1 - Walker Texas Ranger
9.00 - 10.00 SkyThree - Who Killed Diana?

Feel free to suggest any categories you want adding.

Tune in tomorrow for Wednesday's compulsive viewing.

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Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Rocky7 Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday April 2 2007

Time: 12:52PM

Your Comments

And who says Gooners take themselves too seriously
I'll be turning the tele on for '**** off I'm ginger' and scrubs. There was a couple more of them 'fu*k off' shows, there was 'fu*k off I'm small' and fu*k off I'm a hairy woman.'
Brilliant article guys!!!
Adult 9pm - 5am Babestation 1 - 906 9pm - 5am Babestation 2 - 908 9pm - 5am Babestation 3 - 910 9pm - 5am Playboy 1 - 912 9pm - 5am Babecast 1 - 915 9pm - 5am Babecast 2 - 961 I suppose you could waste away the hours watching girls jump up and down on a bed! not that i would know!
To be honest I'd much rather watch Scrubs than us, for example, beating Juve. There's no getting away from it, Scrubs is one of the greatest shows ever made. Also we've already played 'Pool about 40 times this season, so I'm glad we're not playing them again....... So ner!!!
C'mon! How can you forget about Life on Mars on BBC 1 at 9pm?
Actually being a pikey gooner fan is bit like ""LIFE ON MARS"".. In a coma!! Living a fantasy no one else can see..!! Enjoy I personally will be cheering the British teams left in Europe knowing they have British players with a special time set for Thursday.. Yoou guys need another Nigel Winterburn.. I bet little dutch girl thought he was crap!!
Being a Spurs fan would be a bit like being in Canto XII of Dante's 'Inferno', being condemned to constantly push around a huge weight, endlessly and pointlessly for eternity.
Little Dutch
LD, I recommend making a comparison that spuddies could understand. Dante Alighieri is surely not going to do it.
and LD, please explain our guests from the lane what 'Canto' means. If they all share the IQ of mr. cusop there, they could think you are refering to female genitalia.
for tue-friday I recommend going out, meeting some fine women and discussing how sh it e international football is.
mad mick you will soon be arrested and returned to the institution you unfortunately escaped from. and lay off the bottle.
May be we share something in common little dutch girl ... Would you like to discuss Dantes inferno?... it is over 25 years since I read it!! If you, as always stop showing off and read Antonio Gramsci, Prison Notebook you actually might learn about the importance about struggle and how Dantes inferno was interpreted in the 20 th century.. But to be honest NUMB NUT it is a stretch!!
they should put on a program on wednesday called F*ck Off, I'm a Gooner.
Cusop, how are we supposed to believe that you can even read, when your own grammar is so pi*s-poor? Honestly now, I'm sure that the only books you ever read were ones published by madmick1, who to his credit, tells a simple tale as well as doing it in CAPITALS.
Cusop, So over 25 years since you read Dante's Inferno. So lets say you read that when you were 18 (for arguments sake). That now makes you 43!!! From your posts over the last couple of months I honestly believed that you were around 15 and you thought you were being naughty by swearing when your mum/dad/teachers weren't looking. Even after all the ***** that us Gooners have been through in the last few weeks, I'd still much much rather be us than you!!!
Scooch enjoy the eurovision.. Andy needs a bayer.. Good one!! So who the hell is Gramsci ? ... I can see google working over time.. Dantes Inferno is appealing to Gooner Pikes .. One its got some fing to do wiv fire!!.. Two its a big book and burns well round the camp fire while your toasting rats legs!!
Actually U pikeys have probably read all the fascist stuff by Mr. Hilter.. Mine Camp!! ( is on fire ) Agggger Aggerrr!!
Yeah thanks for that eurovision comment, that's the first time I've heard that!!! Quick Cusop, stop typing your mum-dad-teacher's coming. (surely they're not all the same person??? Or maybe they just all look the same???)
Welcome to Planet Cusop. Bring your own mushrooms.
Littledutch trying to show-off,nah! :) Fair play to him and G4L tho for still pluggin away have'nt seen much from ole Puregold iceman10 and that strange unluckys geezer,can't think why!!! COYS!!!
Thing is when would you ever see an article like this on the Spurts board??? Exactly, Never. The reason we can all laugh at something like this is coz we realise that we've had a crap time lately and it's not the norm, whaereas the Spuds..........
us pluggin away? Hahahaha!!! Last time I looked at the table sp*rs were 7 pts behind the Arsenal with us having a game in hand... Last time I checked you won the league in '61. To summarize: you must be on something very very strong (along with your 50 year-old mate cusop) because you've been plugging away for almost HALF A CENTURY! Fair play too you HTG!
Because you are having to accept that being a bad loser is reputation that is hard to lose!! Scooch yyy .. You are like the Ukrainian entry to the Eurovision .. A Drag and nobody wants you!! Andy Bating .. I think your a pot head pixie!! Bong time for Bed said Little Dutch!!
Touched a nerve did i fella,now is that game in hand against Spurs,Chelski,Bolton or P\mouth away?
Blimey it's like woodworm! You can never get rid of the buggers! All you can do is try to console yourself with the thought that they will never evolve into anything other than woodworm!
aah, i remembered how i felt last year.Watched the three stooges marathon.Ah, bad times...
Holy crap TV sucks in England! I feel sorry for you guys...haha.....although the old Planes, Trains and Automobiles would be a nice distraction to the game...nothing like a good John Candy (RIP) and Steve Martin classic. Oh well...I may just watch the match....would love to see PSV win! although it would have been more likely if we had at least tired LPool out a bit on Saturday {still shaking head in disgust}
I thought every Chelsea game was like that.....
only difference is chelsea wins, three stooges don't.Neither does another team, but i forgot it's name. : p
Ive been sunning it in Vegas HTG. Having a holiday is one of the bonuses of owning a passport, you and Cusop probably dont get away much :P BTW the way does CUSOP stand for Can U Sod Off P*@ck?
That reminds me Lost is on on Wednesday night on's all about people getting buried alive this week, a bit like Arsenal's season, except it's dead already....
Its amazing after putting up a half decent challenge these wanna be Pikeysalways start crying ( woodworm) " It wont go away" OOohh!! Poor little Pikey Gooners.. Nobody likes you!! Crouching Tiger strikes again ... Agger Agggerrrr !! AAAGGGGERRRR!!
lol... you are truly're the one taking everything so seriously... please, get a sense of humour will you cusspot! :-)
Cusop, dude. Chill, I provided a nice little quote from nuts magazine last week and you didn't like it, so I thought a man of your undoubted intellect might like a higher minded metaphor. Fair play though, you're alright. I can't understand what you're saying half the time, but I'm sure that crystal meth cosmic pete gave you is working like a charm. Enjoy semiologically analysing episodes 1-4 of Barney.artyb, be sure to catch Gordon Ramsay's kitchen Nightmares, Tuesday night 9pm, More4. This week it features the Marriot Hotel in Canary Wharf.
Little Dutch
Well said little dutch girl!!.. Im sending a pack of sudafed over today.. The instructions are on the web .. give some to that pot head pixie mate of yours. he sounds as if he needs a few tablets. That is when you have figure out how to make it .. Mean while do you feel up for a chat about quantum physics .. Now let me choose the subject. "Photon Entanglement" .. NOOOO!! Its not what Captian Kirk keeps in his under pants.. Good try though!!
Little Dutch
Eu também não entendi. What the hell is this guy on?
1. Sudafed was removed for the US market because it is a basic ingredient for Crystal Meth. 2. LDG can find the instructions on the web.. 3. I think Andybator is a pot head pixie and will like some.. 4. Dante was the LDG choice.. therefore I choose Quantum Mechanics. 5. The captain Kirk reference is a Joke.. But a bit above your IQ!! GET YOUR COAT KEVIN the hogworts express is just leaving!!
Kids, look at this example.Don't do drugs.
Oh yer kevin .. go figure this" Is het ware chelseaventilators eet regelmatig daar eigen faecaliën "
Only a Spud could cite star trek as intellectual currency. Why on earth were you looking up instructions on how to take crystal meth on the web, did you not wanna lose face in front of cosmic pete? Mind you, if you chalky, powerspur and cosmic pete keep snorting the devil's dandruff, you will literally lose your face. :-)
Little Dutch
Haha, so easy. 70% of what you wrote is dutch. Now find this out, vc é nd + do q um trouxa, chico puto. : ) .
People, I have a confession to make. Unsatisfied with the myth that a thousand monkies in a room with a typewriter each could produce a work of Shakespeare, I put the experiment to the test. I called the experiment CUSOP, Chimps Using Sophisticated Oratory Processors. Now the experiment is out of control and I cannot stop it. My gravest apologies.
Little Dutch
Kevin yes bablefish is fun.. No Im not going to play today!! Little Dutch girl I was bringing the discussion down to your level.. But obviously the moment you feel out of your depth you resort to some other smart quote from the web you have just found.. Look up cusop on the web and see wot you find!! It may surprise you.. But then again your only a Pikey who is so obsessed with a scummy football club that you cannot see the Chimps from the Orangutans.. It must be soo!! Painful at the moment to see Reg New contradicting himself, trying to excuse the fact that you are all watching eastenders.. Maybe its YOU that got poor old Dawn up the duff!! But I actually visualize you like May.. totally obsessed and under the illusion that you are in control!!.. Jokey .. well we can all guess who he is like.. Sits on chair watching telly all day .. Programs about chimps ..
You named yourself after a welsh poney ? I did not see that coming.
Arpphhff arrppffff!! Keep looking Grass Hopper!!
It is also a village in England next to the town of Hay on Wye. Check the first sentence on paragraph 2 of Wikipedia's description. It might explain a lot 8-)
Hello we have a winner!! Ο Kevin είναι εσείς ένα πλήρες ηλίθιος ή έκανε τη μητέρα σας ξεχνά τα γονίδιά σας
You said you weren't playing.But we can't trust a meth addict can we?
So while trying to find new ways of enjoying crystal meth, you accidentally stumbled on a page talking about a poison killer?
Could not resist Grass hopper!! Kevin forse dovreste andare essere ora ed andare dormire come un buon ragazzo piccolo
hey cusop: на мамицати да и се изнаебам у гс. Поголем дебил од тебе неам видено а ги иам видено многу, веруј ми! figure that out. btw, your Italian is as good as your team.
hey cusop, and a piece of advice: nemoj se vise drogirat' nije dobro za tvoje mentalno zdravlje. Vrijeme je da odes i potrazis strucnu pomoc idiote. Aj sad odjebi i popusi svim Arsenalovcima kurac! hehe
codswallop,nice try at being an intellect,but isnt it mein kampf,even i knew that and im only 7
fran merida
lol, cusop, still trying to find several other ways of enjoying meth? Or did you move to something higher? ha
Ah never mind, he's at the "5'o clock free crack giveaway".
cusop, I've got to give it to you, someone who obviously doesn't mind making a tit of himself in front of an audience, I admore that. Liste, I know the score, you love Arsenal and you love me. You love Arsenal because we are a classy football club that wins trophies and breaks records on a regular basis. You love me because I am more intelligent than you, younger than you, better looking than you and, ultimately, I can use the English language in a way that is clear and succinct. "But obviously the moment you feel out of your depth you resort to some other smart quote from the web you have just found.Look up cusop on the web and see wot you find!! " Can anyone spot the contradiction in that statement? I haven't provided a quote on this thread, but if you want one, I will gladly utilise my superior intellect to furnish you with one ducky, "life is a zoo in the jungle." Now toddle off back to my basement and tell the other chimps to stop throwing faesces there Voltaire.
Little Dutch
This is what it said about cusop on wikipedia, "Cusop is an English Victorian village that lies next to the world-famous book town of Hay-on-Wye. It is reached by driving out of Hay towards Bredwardine, and turning right into Cusop Dingle, locally known as 'Millionaire's Row', because of the large, Victorian houses which line the route up to Offa's Dyke, one of the popular walking tracks in the West of England. Once documented as the last place in England in which Fairies were seen." Now I KNOW you're on the meth, dingle! Keep reaching for the fairies little man.
Little Dutch
'Better lookin than you' !?!
cusop is a chimp in my basement HTG, I'm no oil painting, but old knuckledragger dingle there's not much competition. I am also toilet trained :-)
Little Dutch
" am more intelligent than you, younger than you, better looking than you " Quite the Cassius Clay eh? lol
Rubbish Kevin, I could beat that ****** up anyday. I AM THE GREATEST!
Little Dutch
"I admore that. Liste, I know the score", LDG read penultimate post dear chappy .. Losing the plot maybe.... As for millionaires row .. your dead right about that one.. Its not meth but a myth!! It also appears that the Wiki is your bible.. The wikipedia has more in common with your writings about the pikey scum than you think, the wiki is often factually wrong.. .. The Cusop dingle is like the your stadium.. Its where one would go if looking for the last siting of fairies!! ((Agggergrgr)) LDG ..You do make me larffff!! If I crouch low enough I can see three strikes coming your way!!
anyone watching the 'real' young guns? (not the ones that beat the spuds), Stevie Bould's youngsters... 1-1 at OT
cusop 1961
G4L.. Whats that Goals 4 liverpool maybe it should be G4L1PS.. or is it girls 4 lease.. or gooners4 losers!! Tell me my little pikey wart wots your point or is the only one on top of your head
Cusop's alrite bit nuts but we all love a character.As le'arse are'nt playing this week maybe you could do one of your write ups,there's a good game on thursday.:)
Cusop, if you're not obsessed with Arsenal, and in particular with me, why are you here everyday talking about Arsenal/me? Admit it ducky, you're in love. Nothing to be ashamed off, cast off the shackles and shout it back to me, "71-2004." When I typed cusop into yahoo, the only other info that came up was something to do with a welsh pony, see, you even named yourself after ex Gooner John Hartson. Bless.
Little Dutch
Game on thursady? Nah, don't follow tiddlywinks.
Little Dutch
Are you implying I ADMORE you ha!! ha!!ha!!ha!! or Liste!! ha!!ha!! The only score your ever gonna make is that Welsh PonY!! Why dont you go down the dingle and look for Fairies. Im sure Wenger can give you some pointers.. ( OUCH!!).. you lot still make me larrfff!! As for you desires .. Thats your problem..
Nah, don't follow tiddlywinks. are you sure Ive heard different.. Aggggerrrr!!
G4L is that a result,the youth semi-final 2nd leg?
fran merida
hehe... "Cusop's alrite bit nuts but we all love a character"
Rhys Murphy for 2-2!!!!!
2-2 is that result?
fran merida
fran merida, how old are you?
Another quote for you little soldier, Kurt Cobain this time, "I wish I was like you...easily amused." You'd better march off to bed young squire. The hoobs is on at 6am.
Little Dutch
Would'nt it be funny if cusop was one of ya pupils! ;)
nope 4-2 for united
He would probably be cowering in a corner if I were!!
Now THAT'S funny,good old bouldy!
mind your own business kevin
fran merida
lol, your calling me by my real name and i can't know how old are you? That was not a go, i seriously want to know how old are you.
you are *
Lol, he said he was 7. lol, Are you really 7
im old enough to vote
fran merida
Aar, then never mind. Now all interest is lost.i thought you were some kind of genius kid. Ah bummer.Just a regular ass adult. lol
Okay i just read that last comment, it doesn't sound very good. lol.I meant your just a normal person.My brother goes on the internet, and he's 6, lol.
yeah does he, is he older than you??
fran merida
lol.Nop. i'm actually 10 years older. Cusop on the other hand, is -50.
FAYC: we lost 4-2, despite taking the lead 1-0 in the 1st leg & lead twice in the match. conceeded a goal from set piece & another in the dying seconds of injury time & yet another from header; the hallmark weaknesses of the senior team. i bet the whole youth team are ripe to challenge for 1st team next season
...also conceeded one from long ball...
Did Cusop supply Britney?
Very funny article, but I KNOW all of you would rather be at your ground singing on Wednesday evening like we will be!
Are you kiding West1? I wouldn't give up Different Stroke and F*ck Off I'm Ginger for anything in the world :(
Westl, singing? At the bodge? That's a barefaced lie young man!
Little Dutch
LD yeah, thats right, they sing about as much as you (though credit is due to your away fans) they were superb against the scouse.
Jacky B
its weird cos your squad aint got any worse
Rocky, with a little one on the way you best get used to it! And it won't be long before the teletubbies take over!!!! :)
As for the singing, tune in tomorrow evening if you can tear yourself away from Eastenders, it will be loud!
unless your like me and sky plus'd LOSt from sunday night and haven't watched it yet ! plus anyone watched SMITH on iTV4... quite good too @!
I have to watch East Enders anyway. The only time the TV is mine is when Arsenal are. Mind you that is most of the time to be honest.
Sour grapes cos you'r enot involved anymore :-)

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