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Wingers' World

Well, did you all tune in for the cup final on saturday? Splendid spectacle, wasn`t it*. It was so dull that at one point in the first half I was having to continually shift about in my chair to stop the eyelids from sending me back to the land of nod.£800m, and all you get is a pitch that plays like a giant dog`s just rubbed it`s nadgers along the turf and shot its` 'puppy love` all over the place. It looked like it played bad, and on closer inspection by the tv cameras, was cutting up quite badly.

*no it wasn't, it was sh*te.

Still, nice to see Cashley pick up a medal, and receive it with his customary modesty. Anyhows, on with the show...



Golden Balls-up

a reet ol' can o' whup-ass has opened up in spain apparently, over the yellow card David Beckham received against Athletico Bilbao his 10th of the season, and an automatic 1 game ban), which was subsequently classified as 'unsporting behaviour' and overturned, allowing him to play the following week.

The Spanish referees were livid, and classified every yellow card the following round of fixtures as 'unsporting behaviour' no matter what the offence, which meant the disciplinary panel had to wipe out the lot, resulting in 15 players who would have been banned being allowed to participate in the games that weekend.

Sounds remarkably similar to our very own beloved FA, where if you bully and throw your weight around enough, you seem to be able to get away with blue murder (hello manyoo, in your pomp, with players like Neville and Keane along with normally 5 others, jostling the ref at any decision against them). Heaven forbid you should appear as you might be about to act in an aggressive manner, as you'll be strung up by the nuts and impaled on the dirty soiled fingers of Alan Pardew as punishment.

Hoots mon, there's a Bruce, loose, aboot this hoose.

Steve Bruce, former 'one time' one half of the ManUsa comedy duo, the two fat ladies aka dolly and daisy, is once again casting his eyes admiringly towards Arsenal's wide array of young talent held on proud display at The Grove. This time the delicious crunchy apple of Bruce's eye is our swiss starlet Johan Djourou.

Bruce's policy of 'take em on loan and hope and hope to nick 'em come season's end' is highly unlikely to come to pass this time round, as young Johan is already an important member of the first team squad, and not exactly what you would call 'hoping to make the breakthrough.'

Mickey Makes Macca Moist

'Honest' Steve McClaren, the people's choice as England Manager, and the man who has finally got England playing the sort of football that we have always known deep down that they can, is licking his lips at the prospect of Little Mickey Owen's return to action, which is handy as it means that hopefully while he's licking them he can't do that smug, inane and hollow 'I'm great, me - please, please, please don't notice I'm out of my depth...' grin of his.

The man who closer resembles a shopkeeper than a manager (you can just picture him in that apron selling breaded ham and tinned corned beef, go on admit it...), showed exactly what made him the FA's number one choice for the most important job in english football (behind Le Boss' at Arsenal) by stating, in a moment of clarity whilst being bathed in sunlight that gave the impression of a golden halo resting on his head, 'Michael over the years has proved that he scores goals.'

I for one am glad Owen is back for the national team, as well as Joe Cole. Anything that pushes Stewart Downing out of the picture is fine by me...

Barton Finks

Interesting little article in the press regarding Joey Barton by Peter Kay, who tells how Barton has undertaken anger management the past year or so, and is the way he is because of his background.

The arse-bearing midfielder, Kay says, is not given the credit he deserves. I don't think that's true, I heard a few people say that it was an absolute cracking punch that Barton landed on his teammate. Now if that's not recognition by your peers, what is!?!

And no, it's not Peter Kay the comedian, but the chap who heads up the Sporting Chance clinic, started up by our very own Tony Adams. Please don't let Joey become all new age and sensitive - it was bad enough when Tone started to learn the piano, the last thing i need to read about is Joey Barton extolling the virtues of ballet...

and the last thing you need right now is any more twaddle from me. Let us fly from here, like peregrine falcons on a warm current of air....

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Writer:Wingston
Date:Monday May 21 2007
Time: 3:16PM

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