Date:Friday May 25 2007
I have this problem. I seem to have this knack for managing to miss newsnow.co.uk, which is clever of me. So you'll forgive me for this blatant attempt to get Wingers' World on there:
Arsene Wenger Cesc Fabregas Thierry Henry Arsene Wenger Ashburton Grove Highbury
Thank you for your patience, ladies and gentlemen. Now, let's turn this mutha out!!!
Return of the Mac
Yesterday I burdened you with some of the wisdom of 'the man with the smarm in his smile, 'honest` Steve McClaren. And lo and behold, what if he aint only gawn and bleedin` made my job of writing this column just a wee bit easier, by blessing the nation with his ins(h)ight.
This time, his vacant gaze has fallen on ex-Arsenal man David Bentley.
The Mac Daddy, leaning across the bacon slicer in his grocery store, in between selling half a pound of tripe to Mrs. Davison , and a pack of Woodbines to Ethel Brenshaw, along with her normal copy of Heat magazine, took time out to speak thus of the shaven-headed wideman, ahead of his appearance in the England B international against Albania at Turf Moor on Friday, 'He's one of the right-sided midfield players who has a great right foot, he has got a range of passing and is a good footballer."
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Steve McClaren. The Man. The Manager. The Muppet.
Mak's Bye Grave?
French holding midfielder Jean-Claude Van Makalele, of CSKA Chavski, has hit back at claims he will be looking to leave the Boys from the Baltic in the close season (POW!). The man who acts as the chav`s midfield wall (BAM!) said, 'I have one year to run on my contract with Chelsea FC and I am not looking to leave. Besides, where else would I get paid this kind of crazy money? Huh? HUH? Don`t f*ck with me!" (SOK!)
Pensioner Forced out of Dwelling
A sad story reaches my ears and eyes tonight of the harrowing story of an elderly man removed from his retirement home. The man in question, a Mister Edward Sheringham, of Upton Park, east London, has been told by the people who run the centre that he must leave by the end of the summer.
Sheringham, 72, who needs round-the-clock supervision by a team of 21yr old miss uk contestants, is said to be devastated by the news.
A source, who did not wish to be named, said, 'It`s such a sorry tale. He may not be able to move much nowadays, but when you kick a ball to him, his eyes light up. It`s as if he still understands what`s going on. We`ll all miss him terribly. Actually, come to think of it, no we won`t - he`s a c**t. I hope he sods off back to Tottenham!`
Disney to host Travelling Circus
Meanwhile, over in Stateside, football`s really taking off. BIG TIME. This July sees the inaugural Disney friendship Cup taking place, with a special appearance of the Moscow State Circus of SW6, London, England.
"We`re all very excited by their attendance," said a Mr. Bill Shut, "we hear they`re the biggest clowns in the business."
And there you have it. So without further or do, I take me leave, and wish you well. Have yourselves a grand weekend, If I can be arsed, I may post summat over the weekend.
If I don't, then you've been spared.
Have fun y'all...
ps. I hope you enjoyed the picture. I promised you guys that a while ago. Some things are worth waiting for...
Date:Friday May 25 2007
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