UK time is: 14:03:26
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Wingers' World 8 - A Load of Toffee

Well, hello there.

It feels like a monday, but it is in fact a tuesday. Most bizarre.

Bank holidays and all that shizzle, hence no daily dump of wingage yesteryonder.

Little or no news on the Arsenal front, but here's the inside track on what's going on outside the Land of Gooner - keep it to yourself, okay?



Gerrard Urges Rafa to Take the Mickey

According to press reports, Liverpool's Spanish midfielder, Stefano Gerrardo (pronounced 'woo-kash'), has urged his his manager, the well-respected Israeli Rafa Ben-I-Tez, to take the plunge and re-sign the 568ml-sized striker (under EU regulations, the cliché 'pint-sized' has been outlawed) 'little' Mickey Owen.

Owen left Anfield to chance his arm in La Liga, with Real Madrid, but his chances were limited, as Owen's managers were unable to see little Mickey, due to his being seated next to Ronaldo in the dressing room, being obscured by the brazilian's 'fullsome' stomach., and was thus, seldom picked.

Owen later returned to Britain to play for FC Barcodes Howaythelads United. Reports of him being injured whilst on england duty were wide of the mark though. Owen, unfortunately, was placed next to Titus Bramble in the dressing room, and once again fate dealt him a cruel hand when Bramble got up one day and, turning round, accidentally caught owen in the midriff with his left buttock, breaking three ribs...



Skip To Malouda, Darling

Wowee, it's all go-go-go at USAnfield today, with another story emanating from the press, suggesting that Rafa the Guffer (wind problems?) is lining up a move for alleged Arsenal target Florent Malouda, to give his team attacking options down the left-hand side.

a mooted £9m move could be in the offing, and with Lyon due to move to a new ground in 'the nearness of future', whispers doth circulate that Peter the Grouch could go the other way, to form part of the scaffolding for the forthcoming stadium.



Fayed up to Spend A Penny

Mohamed Al Fayed, Fulham Chairman and owner of Harrods, is poised to splash the cash for Lawrie Sanchez, in celebration of his tenth anniversary of buying the club.

Fayed, who by doing this is showing that in no way could anyone possibly think that he considers himself the star of the Fulham setup, and that it would be scurrilous to even raise a question such as 'why did he have to wait until his 10th anniversary before injecting cash into what was obviously a team in need of strengthening?' has pledged to loosen the purse strings for Sanchez, who could be given the princely sum of £5.28 to invest in the side, which might be as much as double the amount made available to Chris Coleman.



Tim Brooks 'Tarsal

Tim Cahill, the annoying Ozzie contracted to the Everton Toffees, is set to join up with his national squad as he continues to recover from his broken metatarsal.

Cahill, 2nd in the 'most annoying twat in the prem' award behind Lily Savage, said, "In two weeks I`ll be right to twist and turn, but I`ll be joining up with the boys in camp this week and running around the pitch and punching the corner flag like a cock.'



Toffees stuck on Frank?

Rumours abound that Everton are planning a £3m raid for Sheffield Wednesday's ex-Arsenal defender, Frankie Simek.

Good luck Frankie, here's hoping you make the move back to the top flight. Just, if you do join the toffees, don't go their xmas party dressed as a corner flag...






Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Wingston Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Tuesday May 29 2007

Time: 4:20PM

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Arsenal Articles

The State Of Play (Sunday October 19 2014)

Arsenal v Hull City Match Preview (Friday October 17 2014)

Scouting Report Hull City (Friday October 17 2014)

Injuries, Injuries and More Injuries (Thursday October 16 2014)

Walcott To Play For Arsenal This Weekend (Thursday October 16 2014)

Alexis Sanchez Is a Winner (Tuesday October 14 2014)

Match Discussion - Hull City (h) (Tuesday October 14 2014)

Archived Arsenal Articles

List All Vital Arsenal Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Naijagunner 39
2. Amos. 26
3. Galway Gooner 23
4. Guyfox 20
5. paul_ownz 17
6. shewore 13
7. Rocky7 12
8. Nwankwo25 9
9. Joe_@** 8
10. Wyn Mills 5

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Arsenal 2 - 2 Hull City
Chelsea 2 - 0 Arsenal
Arsenal 1 - 1 Spurs
Aston Villa 0 - 3 Arsenal
Arsenal 2 - 2 Man City
Leicester City 1 - 1 Arsenal

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
4. West Ham 8 4 1 3 4 13
5. Liverpool 8 4 1 3 1 13
6. Man Utd 7 3 2 2 3 11
7. Arsenal 8 2 5 1 2 11
8. Swansea 8 3 2 3 1 11
9. Spurs 8 3 2 3 -1 11
10. Stoke 8 3 2 3 -1 11

Breaking League News

The Villa Times - 20/10/2014
» Aston Villa : 20/10/2014 13:00:00
Liverpool: More 3pm Kick-Offs To Be Sacrificed?
» Liverpool : 20/10/2014 12:59:00
AVFC: This Season v Last Season After 8 Games
» Aston Villa : 20/10/2014 11:20:00
Rich vein of goalscoring form for Jagielka
» Everton : 20/10/2014 11:00:00
Senderos For QPR, Okore Not Ready?
» Aston Villa : 20/10/2014 10:54:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Who is most likely to end as top scorer this season?
Suggested By:  
Campbell 5%
Giroud 2%
Podolski 2%
Ramsey 2%
Sanchez 30%
Sanogo 2%
Walcott 5%
Welbeck 52%