Date:Tuesday May 29 2007
Well, hello there.
It feels like a monday, but it is in fact a tuesday. Most bizarre.
Bank holidays and all that shizzle, hence no daily dump of wingage yesteryonder.
Little or no news on the Arsenal front, but here's the inside track on what's going on outside the Land of Gooner - keep it to yourself, okay?
Gerrard Urges Rafa to Take the Mickey
According to press reports, Liverpool's Spanish midfielder, Stefano Gerrardo (pronounced 'woo-kash'), has urged his his manager, the well-respected Israeli Rafa Ben-I-Tez, to take the plunge and re-sign the 568ml-sized striker (under EU regulations, the cliché 'pint-sized' has been outlawed) 'little' Mickey Owen.
Owen left Anfield to chance his arm in La Liga, with Real Madrid, but his chances were limited, as Owen's managers were unable to see little Mickey, due to his being seated next to Ronaldo in the dressing room, being obscured by the brazilian's 'fullsome' stomach., and was thus, seldom picked.
Owen later returned to Britain to play for FC Barcodes Howaythelads United. Reports of him being injured whilst on england duty were wide of the mark though. Owen, unfortunately, was placed next to Titus Bramble in the dressing room, and once again fate dealt him a cruel hand when Bramble got up one day and, turning round, accidentally caught owen in the midriff with his left buttock, breaking three ribs...
Skip To Malouda, Darling
Wowee, it's all go-go-go at USAnfield today, with another story emanating from the press, suggesting that Rafa the Guffer (wind problems?) is lining up a move for alleged Arsenal target Florent Malouda, to give his team attacking options down the left-hand side.
a mooted £9m move could be in the offing, and with Lyon due to move to a new ground in 'the nearness of future', whispers doth circulate that Peter the Grouch could go the other way, to form part of the scaffolding for the forthcoming stadium.
Fayed up to Spend A Penny
Mohamed Al Fayed, Fulham Chairman and owner of Harrods, is poised to splash the cash for Lawrie Sanchez, in celebration of his tenth anniversary of buying the club.
Fayed, who by doing this is showing that in no way could anyone possibly think that he considers himself the star of the Fulham setup, and that it would be scurrilous to even raise a question such as 'why did he have to wait until his 10th anniversary before injecting cash into what was obviously a team in need of strengthening?' has pledged to loosen the purse strings for Sanchez, who could be given the princely sum of £5.28 to invest in the side, which might be as much as double the amount made available to Chris Coleman.
Tim Brooks 'Tarsal
Tim Cahill, the annoying Ozzie contracted to the Everton Toffees, is set to join up with his national squad as he continues to recover from his broken metatarsal.
Cahill, 2nd in the 'most annoying twat in the prem' award behind Lily Savage, said, "In two weeks I`ll be right to twist and turn, but I`ll be joining up with the boys in camp this week and running around the pitch and punching the corner flag like a cock.'
Toffees stuck on Frank?
Rumours abound that Everton are planning a £3m raid for Sheffield Wednesday's ex-Arsenal defender, Frankie Simek.
Good luck Frankie, here's hoping you make the move back to the top flight. Just, if you do join the toffees, don't go their xmas party dressed as a corner flag...
Date:Tuesday May 29 2007
Kroenke's £3m Can Be Understood (Wednesday October 29 2014)
Three Points And No Mistake! (Sunday October 26 2014)
Team News: Sunderland vs Arsenal - Walcott as Sub (Saturday October 25 2014)
Sunderland v Arsenal Match Preview (Friday October 24 2014)
A Busted Flush (Thursday October 23 2014)
Isn't It The Sign Of A Great Team? (Thursday October 23 2014)
Team News: Anderlecht vs Arsenal (Wednesday October 22 2014)
Anderlecht v Arsenal Match Preview (Tuesday October 21 2014)
Hell Will Freeze Over Before I Sign For Spurs (Monday October 20 2014)
The State Of Play (Sunday October 19 2014)
|3. Man City||9||5||2||2||9||17|
|4. West Ham||9||5||1||3||5||16|
|8. Man Utd||9||3||4||2||3||13|
|Blind & Di Maria Loving It!
» Man Utd : 30/10/2014 10:16:00
|Oviedo keen to return
» Everton : 30/10/2014 10:00:00
|The Ped Report..City 0-2 Newcastle United
» Man City : 30/10/2014 09:54:00
|Jagielka a proper leader and a proper captain
» Everton : 30/10/2014 09:00:00
» Man City : 30/10/2014 08:44:00