Wingers' World 10 - Magic Roundabout

Afternoon all,

Apologies for the lack of anything winging yesterday, but i have had the delights on working on a project for a complete c**t for this past week. I leave it there, lest i go into a huge tirade. Needless to say, kneecapping and thumbscrews have been through my mind this day.

This is a real quick update, and pretty much devoid of humour, of current goings on in the transfer merry-go-round. Not much to do with players coming into Arsenal, but methinks you know that already.



Big Phil

Brazilian Portugeezer Phil Scolari claims interest from chelsea, presumably in his services as a managerial replacement for Maureen O, and not as a Gene Hackman impersonator for their summer party.



So long Sissoko?

Pool midfielder Momo Sissoko looks set to be the subject of a bid from Juventus, who presumably see him as a PV4 style midfielder, to replace our erstwhile former skipper, who departed when they were found guilty of being GREAT BIG F**KING CHEATS and demoted to Serie B.

Liverpool, who are reportedly unwilling to sell to a Prem rival, are thought to be willing to business with a foreign club.

a £10-13.5m fee is being mooted.



Ooh ah, Jez a little bit.

Boro are making a move for Jezza La-di-da, front-paged on this site already, so you know about that. I'll leave that one there, then...



Parker pens?

Wet Sham have agreed a fee with Newcastle for Scott 'wish I'd never joined chelski' Parker, who re-unites with 'curbs', to replace out-going Irons captain Nigella Reo-Lawson.

Parker has failed to settle in the north east, so Newcastle are allowing him to leave, and are in turn mounting a bid of their own Joey 'The Hitman' Barton.



Parna-bye

The Borough of MIddle-Earth are set to lose youth-team graduate defender, Stuart Parnaby, to Birmingham City, on a Bosman free.

The Player, who has been at Boro since he was 10 (you'd have thought he'd have realised before now the need to leave...) wants to make a new start.



It's All Eto'o Much

Those cheeky catalan chaps, FC Barcelona, fresh from whoring Samuel Eto'o to Arsenal (allegedly) in an attempt to gain the signature of Thierry Henry, have performed a big ol' u-turn and stated their intention to fight tooth and nail to retain the services of the dead-eye-dick (did i use 2 words too many there?) of-a-striker.

Morten interests the top five.

The agent of Morten Gamst Pedersen, the bungster that is Rune Hauge (remember him and his great friendship with 'stroller'???), has stated that the Big Five clubs in England have all been in touch over the Blackburn Wideman. The big five in question being Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal and Tottenham.

Now, to put this into context, this is the big four plus the spuds. To quote The late Bill Hicks (still relevent today, like so much of his material...), 'People say 'Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world'. Yeah, maybe, but you know what, after the first 3 largest armies, there's a REAL big f**king drop-off. The Hare Krishnas are the 5th largest army in the world, and they've already got all our airports.'

ManUSA, Chelski, 'Pool, Us...

drop...

drop some more...

you keep waiting for the pebble you've chucked down the well to hit the water at the bottom...

*plop*

and there you have the spuds in 5th. And that's quite a drop.



That's about all you can stand for now, so...

th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!

have yourselves a cracking weekend, all...

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.