Date:Tuesday June 5 2007
Happy Mondays. They were a band of course. Mondays of course, are in reality, very rarely happy occasions. Weekend over, back to work, when all you really want to do is have a lie-in.
and I was so busy yesterday that i didn't get an opportunity to post owt for you fine VF Arsenal folk.
Shame on me.
But I'm back once again, like the renegade master.
here's some morsels for you all:
Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spud
Yes folks, it's a headline of a lifetime. In an astounding bout of four-way-story-play, I bring you news of Claudio Ranieri aka the tinkerman, who yesterday joined Juventus as their new manager, thus snubbing the overtures of that giant of world football, Manchester City, after stepping down at Parma last week.
Elsewhere in the world, (sarf luuundun to be exact...), Peter Taylor has urged his young players to prove their worth and grab the chance of a place in the first team when it is offered up to them, whilst, in other reports, he is claimed to be on the brink of signing up Teddy Sheringwho in a player-coach capacity, after my dramatic scoop about him leaving upton park the other week.
Midfield warrior and all-round misunderstood good egg, Joey Barton, is part of a tug of war between Orcastle United and Wet Sham. The Shammers are threatening to activate the£5.5m release clause on Barton's contract if they fail to have any joy in pursuit of Scott Parker, of Orcastle. Expect much to-ing and fro-ing, and all manner of sneaky shenanigans, as the Shammers hope to 'make the geordies an offer they can't refuse'. Thing is, who wants which player more? Parker unsettled in Geordie land, would Barton really want to come to East London? Especially now that that lovely new logo for London 2012 has been released, surely that's gotta sell it to Joey?
It would seem that Joey's been given to commence talks with the barcodes, as of today, with the £5.5m fee being 'agreed' or rather, his getout clause activated.
Losing their best midfielder (albeit one who treads the line too finely at times, and burnt his bridges with the alleged assault on his team-mate), City have also lost the prospect of having Ranieri at the helm. What will the new season bring for city? An upsurge in fortunes, or a slip into mediocrity...
Fat Jolly Martin, the erstwhile rotund gaffer of Totteringham Spurts, is rumoured to be Hot on the tail of Wesley Sneijder, who 'wants out' of Ajax this summer. Maybe they'd changed the locks and Wes needs a wee, but can't get out.
Totteringham Sperts' striker Dimitar Bobba Fett, the man with a different alice band for every day of the year (blimey, these premiership footballers get paid too much, i only have the three...), has spoken of how 'it would be a pleasure' to play for Manchester United, but is happy to cut his teeth with a smaller club for the time being.
Speaking of the Spuddies, Bobba said, I am a happy man in Tottenham,' he said in Bulgarian newspaper Standart.
'The club gives me everything I need to feel nice with them, and I actually do. As for United, of course I like Sir Alex's team.
'Their style is attacking and pleasant to watch, and it coincides with my own style of playing football.'(Ryan) Giggs, (Paul) Scholes and (Wayne) Rooney are fantastic players and Cristiano Ronaldo on the right side is a magician with the ball, he plays football from another planet.'Of course, it would be a pleasure for me to play with these guys; they simply know how to have fun on the pitch.'
So does that mean he isn't having fun on the pitch with the Tiny Totts? Tell us what you think, drop us a line to firstname.lastname@example.org
Mak Ze Peesed?
Jean Claude Van Makelele, holding midfielder of the Moscow State Circus has admitted for the first time that his time at the Russian team could be up, by revealing for the first time that he could well be tempted to go and play across the pond in the States with David Beckham (whose alice band collection is even bigger than Berbatov's),
Makelele sees first team opportunities at CSKA Chelski being somewhat limited next term, with the emergence of John Obi Wan Mikel, the Jedi midfielder, whose mind-tricks fool many-a-referee into letting him off scott free from terrible tackle, and Lasagna Diarrhoea, who made his premiership debut at the Marriott Hotel for the Tiny Totts in the last game of the 2005-06 season (with devastating effect).
Kaka expresses love for a chav
AC Milan nice guy, who's mother is very proud of him, has said he'd love to be re-united with Andriy Chavchenko next season, at the San Siro.
Chavchenko, who 'didn't really have the best of seasons last time out, shall we say...' has been embroiled in a will-he-won't-he mystery of epic proportions, as people up and down the country wait with baited breathe to see if he will return to Milan, but then again, let's face it, it's far more interesting than watching him play, I mean after you've seen the first five shots bobble hopelessly wide, all the fun and hilarity goes out of it, eh?
Talking of which, I've got myself all worn out with all this typing, so I must go and insert my fingers into a bucket of ice, before having them dried off by the warm comforting breathe of Eva Longoria (ahh, if only...)
So that, is that. til tomorrow... adios
Date:Tuesday June 5 2007
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Team News: Rambo Back, Le Coq & Arteta Out (Monday November 23 2015)
Vital Arsenal Fantasy Football Update Week #12 (Monday November 23 2015)
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Wenger Confirms Injury Crisis (Monday November 23 2015)
Wenger - Very Poor Defence To Blame For 'Nightmare (Sunday November 22 2015)
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