Wingers' World 16 - Losing Count

Another sunny sunny monday afternoon, dontcha just love it? I am sorely torn between writing this column or going outside t enjoy the beautiful weather that is currently on display outside. But I left the snorkel equipment at home today, and the water wings are at the back of the wardrobe, so looks like you're stuck with me. Sorry folks...

on with the round up...



Oh, ballacks!!!

Teamtalk talks team-tastic today, telling tales to titilate to t'core. Chelski, according to the football website, are today travelling out to the states to begin their pre-season tours and conditioning.

Joining them will be new signing Florent Maloudadooda, fresh from signing from Olympique Lyonnais for a reported fee of £13.5m.

Missing out on the trip,however, will be German midfielder Michael Ballack, who misses the start of the tour as recovers from surgery following surgery on one of his ankles.

Rumours are that he slipped on a piece of pie crust from one of the tasty treats from Lumplard's 'trolley full of cakes and meaty fings'.

In other Chelski news, the blues have stealthily crept up behind everyone, and then put on a scary mask, and gone 'BOO!'. The scary mask in question is Avram Grant, as the Telegraph report that the former technical director at Portsmouth will be joining the blues as director of football, and also sit on the Chelski board too. I bet they're relieved it's not Lumplard doing the sitting.



Robben to fly the nest?

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the top target of them all? Well, when it comes to Real Madrid, some will tell you it's our very own Cesc Fabregas. But the Daily Mirror will tell you otherwise.

They today report that it's Arjen Robben who is exchanges naughty sly glances with the Madrid club, and playing footsie with the Spaniards under the table, saying that he still has his heart set on a move to the Spanish capital and current La Liga champions.

The signing of Maloudadooda yesterday, the paper says, could well spell the end of the Dutchman's spell at the Bridge.



Carra on without me.

The Liverpool Echo carry the story of Jamie Carragher, who's seemingly called time on his international career, feeling that being overlooked by 'Honest' Steve McClaren, despite being one of the most consistent central defenders in the Premier League, time and again, coupled with being 29, tell him that he should focus himself on his club.

Personally, i reckon he's 'doing a Beckham'. If you see Jamie sporting a wealth of new tattoos, bleach blond hair and in tow with his new best friend, jay-z, you'll know I'm right.

It's a shame for Carragher, he's been on top form for at least 3 seasons, whereas players like woodgate have been out injured, surely Carragher had earned the right to secure his place behind Terry and Ferdinand in the squad. Or Perhaps Honest Steve thinks he IS too old at 29 to warrant giving him the chance in the squad, preferring to look at a younger defender instead.



Kamara pretty as a picture to Fulham

Hey you, up in the Sky, learning to fly, tell me how high do you think you'll go before you start falling? So sang oasis, back in the day. Fast forward back to the present and my focus is on a sky of a different sort, of the web-based football news site type thing. Yes, it's good ol' Sky Sports, minus the traumatic sight of the hairy hand of Richard Keys, who are telling anyone who'll listen (the brazen jezebels) that Fulham have completed the signing of Diomansy Kamara from West Brom for a fee of fifteen squillion euros and a bag of caramac bars. OH no, sorry, i read that wrong - it is in fact a much more managable £6m (i have no information about the caramac bars...).

Sky Sports sat that the Senegalese international has put pen t' paper on a five year deal and joins Aaron Hughes and Steven Davis (both from Villa...) as new arrivals at Craven Cottage, as Lawrie 'Dirty' Sanchez shapes the team in his own image.

So expect them to come running out for their first game of the new season wearing long raincoats and stern-looking spectacles, looking like 11 Gene Hackmans from the film 'Enemy Of The State'...



Good gwief - is that the time? I simpwy MUST go, wevewend wilson will be wound soon, and i have to put the best china out for him, before we discuss the church fete...

Til next time, my good chums...