Writer: Nick Simmonett
Date:Friday November 24 2006
The Reebok Stadium
25th November 2006
The Gunners travel to Bolton on Saturday in search of a long overdue win against The Trotters. The Gunners were beaten 2-0 in this fixture last season thanks to Sam 'slip us a bung' Allardyce's anti-football tactics.
Do you think the big man got football confused with the American version?
It would seem that the fat, vile creature that is Sam Allardyce is proud of the fact that he can't actually manage a football team: 'It is wonderful to hear Arsene Wenger slaughtering our tactics.
'It is a great honour for me to hear any manager slagging Bolton off, particularly when it is one of the big boys.
'Rafael Benitez has had a go at it, Arsene Wenger has had a go at it and Jose Mourinho had a go at it in his first season. Long may it continue, that's all I can say.'
Arsenal's midfield star Cesc Fabregas says that Bolton's brand of football will not intimidate Arsenal as it did last year at the Reebok: 'It is a big weekend for us, especially if we can get three points in a difficult stadium.
'This year we are physically much stronger, we are playing so well and I think we can do something.
'We need to be ready from the first minute, have to do our best and score first - even if that is in the last minute.'
Both Thierry Henry and Robin Van Persie will be missing in attack leaving Jeremie Aliadiere, Julio Baptista, Manu Adebayor and Theo Walcott to fight it out for the starting place(s).
Both Tomas Rosicky and William Gallas will miss this game but both could return as soon as the away game to Porto.
There is some good news on Lauren though, the right back is now back in training with the team and will return to action in early January. Abou Diaby is still on being treated for his injury but should return to training early in the new year.
The Beast could prove to be the difference in this game. His power may just come in useful and he will be high on confidence after his goal in midweek.
Kevin 'poor mans lampard' Nolan returns for Bolton after missing their last game due to the birth of his child. Man United reject Quinton Fortune returns but Ricardo Gardner misses the game.
The little girl hasn't got a Premiership goal yet this season so he will be up for this one.
Wingston75: "Fat sam, the one time moustachioed pie crust munching, swill supping grotesque lump of dough who made history by becoming the first Ork to manage a premiership football club, and more recently of late, the alleged bung-taking backhander mechant, has been bragging in friday's mirror of being the man who taught the premiership how to 'beat up arsenal'.
in between fipping a ball up on his tail and clapping his fins together, the walrus of football (no relation to the walrus of love, the late barry white...) opined, "Most Premiership clubs have followed what we have done since our success against them and they have been successful too.
"We've got a good record against Arsenal and we know the type of football we've got to play against them."
yes, that type of football being lame, negative, boring football, if you can call it football. Football is meant to consist of the ball being played predominatly with feet, not lumping it into the air, or launching long throws into the box, and clattering the nearest opposing player in the hope of breaking his ribs.
Fat sam, we salute you. Not for being a walrus or an ork. Certainly not for your team's brand of football. No, we salute you for having the audacity to be proud of your team's style of play. Leyton Orient play better football than Your mob.
Here's hoping we stuff his trotters down his throat come Saturday evening."
Date:Friday November 24 2006
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